You are here:

Suicide Prevention/my girlfriend wants to commit suicide

Advertisement


Question
QUESTION: dear expert,

i don't know what to do anymore. I've been with my girlfriend for 7 months now and she already wanted to end it in November this year.
She keeps saying i'm the only reason she still lives. Her grandmother committed suicide when she was still young. She is really negative thinking sometimes and i talked her out of it 3 or 4 times already. I'm 15 and she is 16 now but i don't know if i can go on like this. I think i couldn't live without her and join her in heaven if that's what it takes for me to stay with her. i love her a lot and am not prepared to let her go. i really need help 'cause i have no idea if she would stay long or not. Her negativity is really intense and she had to take an operation on her shoulder to. She faints sometimes and i think her body is getting hurt. She doesn't want to tell anyone but me and i'm really scared for her, for us...

please help me, i need it real hard.

ANSWER: Hi William!

Your girlfriend is so lucky to have someone like you who cares for her and wants to help.  But all you can do is give her the tools to want to live; the living is up to her.  You can remind her that she can be a vessel for God's love to those around her and help others, as I do, to survive losing a loved one to suicide.  Let her know as I am telling you that God has plans for you both.  He wants you to stick around to help other young people like yourselves who are hurting.  No greater gift are we given than the feeling of knowing we have made a difference in someone's life.  I know this world can be very difficult at times but there is an abundance of love out there too.  Ask God to come in to your heart and heal your pain; ask Him to help you to help others and know the joy of loving and serving Him.  Remind your girlfriend that her grandmother is with her always and she must shine in her memory.  She would not want her to follow in her footsteps.  It is a fight to keep the negativity from sucking you into its black hole but you MUST keep fighting to survive.  We need you, both of you.  You are children of God and He loves you....and so do I.

Sincerely,

Lynne

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: hi Lynne

thank you so much for your help but there seems to be more...
There is this other boy that wants her to break up with me. She can't get it over her heart to say no. It's really hurting her to have to make a choise again. She is actually scared of this boy (17)and i don't know what to do about him. She also told me she would cheat on me just so i would break up with her so she could "go without guilt". Her sadness comes in waves and she is really easily hurt by others. I can't see her a lot because of period of exams. Tank you very much again for your help and time.

Sincerely,

William

Answer
William,

I can tell how much you care for this girl but sometimes you have to care more for yourself.   It comes down to self preservation.  It sounds too like there might be a little manipulation going on by her but it is difficult to know for sure.  Regardless, give this up to God and know that the only actions you are responsible for are yours.  You cannot control what someone else chooses to do.  

I will be praying for you my friend and remember that God loves you and so do I.

Sincerely,

Lynne

Suicide Prevention

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


Lynne Luckett

Expertise

I can answer questions about surviving suicide, about losing a family member to suicide and how to heal the hole that is left behind by a loved one committing suicide.

Experience

My father committed suicide when I was 8 years old. It took me 13 years to even start dealing with his death but once the healing started it was truly an educational experience. I know now that he is with me all the time and though his physical self is no longer here, his spirtual self lives on in me and my son. I'm now 49 and have talked to several people about losing a loved one to suicide and have received some positive feedback about my advice. I am a medical transcripitionist and have been in the medical field for 20+ years. I feel I survived my dad's death to have the understanding to be able to help others. I love to help others.

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.