You are here:

Suicide Prevention/ego,self esteem hirted a lot


QUESTION: "I NEED ADVICE ASAP PLEASE"  well here i m after suffering for so long  i ll first tell ur problema and den reason for it "PRBLEMS" 1) i m,undergoing through depression 2) i m unable to live life and started hating it badly just wanna end it 3) i wakes up in the middle of nights and cry 4) feel myself worthless of any sort of joy  5) lost all confidence 6) lost belief in JESUS and started hating him 7) lost all ma self esteem and self respect  "REASON" well reason is my life  so it all starts frm here on oct 30 1994 was i born with disability as result of this i used to get bullied and hated in school i didnt had any frnd in schooltime i used to get beaten up by mz classmates too  i didnt had any identity or worth or respect in ma class n school due to mine handicapness i remain short  wen i grown older  i started getting disheartened,embarassed and low  i just wanted to escape ma school and den after ma matric i changed school hoping that i ll now live a happy social life bt ma misfortune contd and in inter last year i got beaten up in bw all students in ma farewell party  i hv lost all ma self esteem and got felled so down on earth  bt no prblm  i stood up agn  i dropped an,year before joining college  during that one year  one most misfortunate accident hpnd of my life i was full into JESUS those  days  i used to attend church regularily was taking part in church skits and carols  ma,only,love frnd hope was JESUS  i used to talk to JESUS posters an BIBLE in ma room nd JESUS rewarded me. that most misfortunate sunday of my life  dat day after attrnding church i was going back home in autorilshaw there was one more autorikshaw going ahead of mine full of girls out of them one girl stared on me  i gave a smile  she den started giving me smiles and watching me, again n again by peeping thru back windaw of auto i didnt responded and ignored  and sudenly on one stop all girls stepped out of auto came to me as ma,auto too stooped pulled me out and startrd beating me blaming dat i was flirting with dem and beated me i was agn embarrased in,ma own,locality  infront of all i was completely broken agn bt no pbm i,started worshiping jesus more nd stood up lil bit den after few months in 2012 i took admission,in dental college having some confidence in new ppl made some frnds and had some respect in dem bt ma life agn,shook me  i got ragged up by a senior guy  ma mistake was i didnt obeyed him nd given him respect  so he started beating me in,front of all ma classmates  nd i was agn brokken down in pieces  after somevdays as time passd i stood agn  and agn got slapped by few guys on,main,highway in front of my two  frnds  mistake was i smashed my bike into a girl crossing road  girls didnt had any single injury it was a minor clash  bt grt india guys came to show dere bravery nd brag it in front of girl  girl and slapped me me agn broken  nt agn i trued to stand up nd agn ma life  i got beaten up at chownk by an,uncle infont of all and ma frmds mistake was i was crossing road and came infornt of his bike  nd at that time  i m cmpltly broken  and now i just fallen down all broken  i just cant face myself in,mirror  facing others is out of thought i just hate ma life  dont wanna live  m just nothing  m worthlesss  plz help

ANSWER: Hi Sunny!
I am very sorry you have encountered the meanness that exists in our world.  Please don't give up on Jesus; He hasn't given up on you.  None of us know why bad things happen to good people.  But it is up to you how you let it affect you.  Please seek professional help to get through what you are feeling.  Jesus knows you have a good heart; and remember He loves you and so do I.


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: JESUS dont know anything all he know is to hurt me everytime pbm is not DAT I got beaten up many ppl get beatem up once in a while in,thier life but ma pbm is I got beaten up again n again in every stage of ma life and that too without ma mistake. That what hurts me alot. Ma friends hvnt encounterrd such things in thier life atleast in front of me den y did I. What is ma mistake DAT m born handicap nd is yhus short in height and skinny in apperance :'(. I didnt told jesus to made me like this. :'(:'(:'(:'(

Sunny!  I am at a loss for an answer for you except I can say that God doesn't make mistakes.  You are His child and He loves you.  In my opinion you need to seek professional help that is way beyond my expertise.  I am so sorry that I can't help more than that but please know that I will be praying for you to find peace.  


Suicide Prevention

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Lynne Luckett


I can answer questions about surviving suicide, about losing a family member to suicide and how to heal the hole that is left behind by a loved one committing suicide.


My father committed suicide when I was 8 years old. It took me 13 years to even start dealing with his death but once the healing started it was truly an educational experience. I know now that he is with me all the time and though his physical self is no longer here, his spirtual self lives on in me and my son. I'm now 49 and have talked to several people about losing a loved one to suicide and have received some positive feedback about my advice. I am a medical transcripitionist and have been in the medical field for 20+ years. I feel I survived my dad's death to have the understanding to be able to help others. I love to help others.

©2016 All rights reserved.