Suicide Prevention/ego,self esteem hirted a lot
QUESTION: "I NEED ADVICE ASAP PLEASE" well here i m after suffering for so long i ll first tell ur problema and den reason for it "PRBLEMS" 1) i m,undergoing through depression 2) i m unable to live life and started hating it badly just wanna end it 3) i wakes up in the middle of nights and cry 4) feel myself worthless of any sort of joy 5) lost all confidence 6) lost belief in JESUS and started hating him 7) lost all ma self esteem and self respect "REASON" well reason is my life so it all starts frm here on oct 30 1994 was i born with disability as result of this i used to get bullied and hated in school i didnt had any frnd in schooltime i used to get beaten up by mz classmates too i didnt had any identity or worth or respect in ma class n school due to mine handicapness i remain short wen i grown older i started getting disheartened,embarassed and low i just wanted to escape ma school and den after ma matric i changed school hoping that i ll now live a happy social life bt ma misfortune contd and in inter last year i got beaten up in bw all students in ma farewell party i hv lost all ma self esteem and got felled so down on earth bt no prblm i stood up agn i dropped an,year before joining college during that one year one most misfortunate accident hpnd of my life i was full into JESUS those days i used to attend church regularily was taking part in church skits and carols ma,only,love frnd hope was JESUS i used to talk to JESUS posters an BIBLE in ma room nd JESUS rewarded me. that most misfortunate sunday of my life dat day after attrnding church i was going back home in autorilshaw there was one more autorikshaw going ahead of mine full of girls out of them one girl stared on me i gave a smile she den started giving me smiles and watching me, again n again by peeping thru back windaw of auto i didnt responded and ignored and sudenly on one stop all girls stepped out of auto came to me as ma,auto too stooped pulled me out and startrd beating me blaming dat i was flirting with dem and beated me i was agn embarrased in,ma own,locality infront of all i was completely broken agn bt no pbm i,started worshiping jesus more nd stood up lil bit den after few months in 2012 i took admission,in dental college having some confidence in new ppl made some frnds and had some respect in dem bt ma life agn,shook me i got ragged up by a senior guy ma mistake was i didnt obeyed him nd given him respect so he started beating me in,front of all ma classmates nd i was agn brokken down in pieces after somevdays as time passd i stood agn and agn got slapped by few guys on,main,highway in front of my two frnds mistake was i smashed my bike into a girl crossing road girls didnt had any single injury it was a minor clash bt grt india guys came to show dere bravery nd brag it in front of girl girl and slapped me me agn broken nt agn i trued to stand up nd agn ma life i got beaten up at chownk by an,uncle infont of all and ma frmds mistake was i was crossing road and came infornt of his bike nd at that time i m cmpltly broken and now i just fallen down all broken i just cant face myself in,mirror facing others is out of thought i just hate ma life dont wanna live m just nothing m worthlesss plz help
ANSWER: Hi Sunny!
I am very sorry you have encountered the meanness that exists in our world. Please don't give up on Jesus; He hasn't given up on you. None of us know why bad things happen to good people. But it is up to you how you let it affect you. Please seek professional help to get through what you are feeling. Jesus knows you have a good heart; and remember He loves you and so do I.
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QUESTION: JESUS dont know anything all he know is to hurt me everytime pbm is not DAT I got beaten up many ppl get beatem up once in a while in,thier life but ma pbm is I got beaten up again n again in every stage of ma life and that too without ma mistake. That what hurts me alot. Ma friends hvnt encounterrd such things in thier life atleast in front of me den y did I. What is ma mistake DAT m born handicap nd is yhus short in height and skinny in apperance :'(. I didnt told jesus to made me like this. :'(:'(:'(:'(
Sunny! I am at a loss for an answer for you except I can say that God doesn't make mistakes. You are His child and He loves you. In my opinion you need to seek professional help that is way beyond my expertise. I am so sorry that I can't help more than that but please know that I will be praying for you to find peace.