AboutLynne Luckett Expertise I can answer questions about surviving suicide, about losing a family member to suicide and how to heal the hole that is left behind by a loved one committing suicide.
Experience My father committed suicide when I was 8 years old. It took me 13 years to even start dealing with his death but once the healing started it was truly an educational experience. I know now that he is with me all the time and though his physical self is no longer here, his spirtual self lives on in me and my son. I'm now 49 and have talked to several people about losing a loved one to suicide and have received some positive feedback about my advice. I am a medical transcripitionist and have been in the medical field for 20+ years. I feel I survived my dad's death to have the understanding to be able to help others. I love to help others.
Expert: Lynne Luckett Date: 2/23/2005 Subject: Daughter Who Is A Trouble Maker
Question I'm the son speaking on the father's behalf, and i told them not to bail her out, and now look what it has gotten them. Also i think she can tell the difference between right and wrong, but i think she is so depressed inside that she doesn't even care that what she is doing is wrong. Also when she is finally caught she panics like anyone else, but until she is caught she will keep doing what she is doing. Walmart called 2 days ago saying that have her i guess on tape righting out more bad checks. She called yesterday and her son picked up the phone and said that she said she would return the car as soon as she got a rental or a new one. Yeah, like thats going to happen. Either way we will get the car back, because we already have the sheriffs looking out for it.
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She's about 37 years old, and like i said she has been in prison off and on. Lets put it this way, if her convictions equaled years, they would be older than i am, for example, if her convictions were 15, and i was 12 years old, then her convictions would be older than me, and i'm not saying that she has convictions from 15 years ago.
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I know this probably isn't your area of expertise, but i need to know
What Would You Do?
Lets say you have a daughter who is constinently getting into trouble and is constantly in and out of Jail, and just recently, you had to pay $600 to bail her out, and during the Bail Time and her Court Date, she borrows your Van, doesn't bring it back until a few days later, and while using the Van, she comes by and turns your $90 Power Steamer back to Walmart in order to get some money, and she also does that to your $30 converter set, then she brings back the van, and while you are gone shopping on the van, she sneeks into your house takes the car keys off your table, then borrows the Car, and for the past 2 or 3 days she still hasn't brought it back, also to mention, while driving the van, you find out that she has warn out the brakes, and has accumalated 1500 miles on it. Also while she was using the van, she came by your house while you were sleeping and had your son and grandson to tell no one that she was here. Also someone tells you that she has been sleeping in your van. She also borrows $45 from your son because she claimed that she owed someone some money because she got pulled over for not coming to a complete stop and she had no license at the time, also she may be making bad checks in someone elses name, which was the reason she recently went to jail in the first place. Also like a month or 2 before she borrowed the van, she pawned your computer, and you had to pay $63 just to get it back. She even one time called you trying to get your PIN#, and she also claims she knows your Checking Account # and she makes her mother worry about her car and rather or not she will still your money out of your account. Also you are so afraid that he make come in while you were sleeping and to still some more stuff, that you have to keep the doors locked, and you have to buy a servalance camera to keep a watch on the van you do have. Also in the car, you have your license and your spare Van Keys
Answer -
Even the love that a parent has for a child sometimes has to be put on the back burner when that child is in trouble. Unfortunately, I think I would get law enforcement officials involved i.e. report your vehicle stolen, file a police report on any items that she sells,pawns or returns. That's tough love. Perhaps if she has to go through the Juvenile system she will realize that it's not much fun and straighten herself up. It may be heartbreaking and your relationship may come to a screeching halt but it just may save that child from a life of more serious crime or worse.
That's my best, albeit unprofessional, advice.
Good luck.
Lynne
Answer -
If she is 37 then she is old enough to determine right from wrong and take the consequences for her bad behavior. Stop bailing her out of jail. Let her suffer for what she does to others by not making things so easy for her.
Again, just my opinion.
Lynne
Answer It sounds like you have done all that you can do. The important part now is for you to realize that and come to terms with that fact. Obviously this is bothering you way more than it is her and frankly life is waaay to short to spend it trying to help someone who doesn't want to be helped. The only thing left for you to do is to let your dad know that you cannot carry her burden on your shoulders any more and he should follow the same path. You can let her know, if you feel it would help somehow, that you are there to support her but only when she is willing to turn her life around and start doing things the right way. Otherwise, you and your father will continue to be hurt.
Sorry I can't give you more or perhaps better advice.
