AboutLynne Luckett Expertise I can answer questions about surviving suicide, about losing a family member to suicide and how to heal the hole that is left behind by a loved one committing suicide.
Experience My father committed suicide when I was 8 years old. It took me 13 years to even start dealing with his death but once the healing started it was truly an educational experience. I know now that he is with me all the time and though his physical self is no longer here, his spirtual self lives on in me and my son. I'm now 49 and have talked to several people about losing a loved one to suicide and have received some positive feedback about my advice. I am a medical transcripitionist and have been in the medical field for 20+ years. I feel I survived my dad's death to have the understanding to be able to help others. I love to help others.
Question I have had 4 deaths of family members and 5 deaths of pets this year. Ever since March (the 2nd death of the year) I noticed I have been eating more and have gained about 40 pounds in a matter of a few months. I have stomach aches constantly and I feel really depressed all th time. I have thought of suicide but no attempts yet. What's wrong with me? What can I do about this?
Answer Kelsey!
How ironic you should write to me now! I just lost a pet that had been a member of my family for 17 years. It's very tough to lose someone who is so close to you. And you have certainly had your fair share this year.
I am not a trained professional but I can speak from personal experience that it sounds like you use food for comfort. That is not to say that there isn't something else causing the weight gain. The first step for you I would think would be a thorough physical checkup. If there is no physical reason for the weight gain then you may need treatment for depression. Certainly losing one loved one can have a profound effect on someone but as much loss as you have had would take anyone a great deal of time to get over. I will admit during my worst times I just wanted out, wanted to get out from under the responsibilities and the sorrow but that does not mean suicide. I am encouraged that you have not had any attempts.
If it would be any comfort at all to you it is my belief that even though we lose the physical self of those we love when they pass over into God's Kingdom the spiritual self stays here with us and will let us know at some point that it is well. You will either hear a voice that is familiar or a phrase that only that person said. There may be a smell that brings thoughts of them back to you or a song. Know that any one of these is their way of saying "It's okay to grieve but I'll never leave you and life must go on". In God's Kingdom there is no sorrow or pain, the sick are well and the lame walk again. In another part of God's Kingdom is a place where all of our beloved pets go after death to wait for us. And in that portion of God's Kingdom, too, there is no pain and the animals are happy. When it is our time, and only when God chooses, our beloved pets meet us at the Rainbow Bridge for that glorious reunion. Kelsey! Please believe that we will be reunited with those we love after our time here is finished. But you have so much to do before it's time to go. There is nothing wrong with you my friend. You have just had way more than your fair share of personal heartache. Use that pain to make you stronger and turn that strength around to help others.
What can you do about it? As I said above, you should see a doctor as soon as possible to make sure your physical health is okay. While you are there, talk to your doctor about counseling and see if he/she can refer you to someone. Otherwise, take comfort in the promise that God has made that He has made a place for those who love Him and there will be a glad reunion in His time.
I hope this has helped, even a little bit. Let me know if I can do anything else.
Sincerely,
Lynne
PS: There is a website for the Rainbow Bridge and a lovely poem. Check it out on Wikipedia.
