AboutLynne Luckett Expertise I can answer questions about surviving suicide, about losing a family member to suicide and how to heal the hole that is left behind by a loved one committing suicide.
Experience My father committed suicide when I was 8 years old. It took me 13 years to even start dealing with his death but once the healing started it was truly an educational experience. I know now that he is with me all the time and though his physical self is no longer here, his spirtual self lives on in me and my son. I'm now 49 and have talked to several people about losing a loved one to suicide and have received some positive feedback about my advice. I am a medical transcripitionist and have been in the medical field for 20+ years. I feel I survived my dad's death to have the understanding to be able to help others. I love to help others.
Expert: Lynne Luckett Date: 6/25/2006 Subject: Depression and Suicide
Question Well, first let me tell you a bit about myself, Im currently studying in the 12th grade, and as such am a good student and also a good athlete. I don't drink, have never done drugs or anysuch thing and have quite a few friends. Its just that recently or actually from quite some time, I've been driving towards hurting myself, or hurting some one else. My Mom and Dad are supportive about much of everythin I do, and they are everything in the world for me along with my brother.
In the past year, my Mother has become nearly abusive to me. She insults me,degrades me, andhumiliates me. I for one try my best, never to scream back, and control the rage that builds in me. SHe is so self - concietedand so selfish it sometimes sickens me. Its just that in my values and in our family values, we never push ourselves to insult each other. But she can, and I refuse or just back answer (but never insult) and leave. She keeps cursing me, and had it been anyone other than my Mom I would probably have beaten the shit out of him or her. She has been getting in my nerves soo much, on an hourly basis presurising me to do well in studies and blahblah so I can beat my cousins and crap in the finals. I don't want to and the more she tries the more I feel like walking the f*** out of the room and throwing the book on her damn face. Its just the feeling of helplessness because I can't retaliate and I can't scream back, because it'll only get worse andlast longer if I do.
Im not any kid with depression or something, but for a few months I've been considering killing myself, more when I get angry rather than when I get sad. I get soo angry that sometimes I just take the compass lying on the table and cut into my hand. I have punched the wall on several occasions, once breaking my knucles,and the other time permanently damaging my finger (my parents don't know, cause I can't tell them). I feel like breaking the damn house and everyone living in it, or killing myself, and screweing everyones life around me. Who the hell does everyone think they are? Who does my mom think she is? Who are they to control my life as if it were theirs? God, Im living their life for them, and it makes me fuck*in angry!
I've literally come centimeters close to jumping off our balcony and I don't really know what si goin on in my life.
God I feel unfit and such a loser.
help or not - thanks...
a - sky - h
Answer You say help or not! I would love to be able to help you but unfortunately it is not in my expertise. You MUST seek counseling and help from someone though. Perhaps your school guidance counselor or a minister or priest or seek professional help on your own. But you absolutely MUST get yourself some help. You recognize that this is a problem that is not going to go away on its own. Please, get some help right away before you hurt yourself or someone else. I'd like to hear from you and how you are doing. It makes me very sad to hear how angry you are at such a young age. You should be happy in the prime of your youth. Help is not going to come to you, you have to seek it yourself. I can tell you that you are not a loser. God doesn't make junk! I'll be praying for Him to touch your heart and put out the fire of anger inside you. But you have to find help to keep it from consuming you.
