AboutLynne Luckett Expertise I can answer questions about surviving suicide, about losing a family member to suicide and how to heal the hole that is left behind by a loved one committing suicide.
Experience My father committed suicide when I was 8 years old. It took me 13 years to even start dealing with his death but once the healing started it was truly an educational experience. I know now that he is with me all the time and though his physical self is no longer here, his spirtual self lives on in me and my son. I'm now 49 and have talked to several people about losing a loved one to suicide and have received some positive feedback about my advice. I am a medical transcripitionist and have been in the medical field for 20+ years. I feel I survived my dad's death to have the understanding to be able to help others. I love to help others.
Question Hi,
I lost my fiance about 2 years ago in an auto accident.We had been together for 11 years. We raised my daughter together. I found out last year that she had a drug problem and was unfaithful with several people. She also had 2 nd mortages on our home and because of that I had to let our home go into forclosure.I punished myself for over a year prior to this and lost a lot of weight and was very depressed as well .I had thougt about taking my own life several times but my daughtere made me think I needed to be there for her.It has been a hard road and at times I feel a little out of control. I think maybe I want to just give up and just end it . I am very angry with her actions...what did I do to deserve this.......
Answer My friend Joseph!
I can feel the anger in your words. You are probably feeling guilty for being angry because she died. It's okay to feel angry but then resolve it, put it away and move on to forgiveness. You need to forgive her and yourself. The betrayal, hurt, sadness, shock and guilt have served to this point to do nothing constructive in your life. It's time to heal. You may need to seek professional help to do that. I know you don't have to be reminded that everyone has valleys in life. I've always told myself that if life doesn't have valleys then we don't appreciate the view from the peaks. :)
Your daughter needs you now more than ever. I'm sure she is feeling lost and confused and you need to be here to help her get through the difficult times in her life as well as help her celebrate the joy! I wish I had my dad to walk me down the aisle at my wedding, to rejoice in the birth of my son, to take pride in my accomplishments. But because he chose to complete the act that you contemplated he's missed all of that and I've missed having it.
Put your anger away now, Joseph, and start to live. It's been two years and the wounds were deep, but life with your daughter is worth so much more than holding onto these negative feelings. Always remember that God loves you and I do too!
I'm praying for you. Let me know if I can do anything else.
