AboutLynne Luckett Expertise I can answer questions about surviving suicide, about losing a family member to suicide and how to heal the hole that is left behind by a loved one committing suicide.
Experience My father committed suicide when I was 8 years old. It took me 13 years to even start dealing with his death but once the healing started it was truly an educational experience. I know now that he is with me all the time and though his physical self is no longer here, his spirtual self lives on in me and my son. I'm now 49 and have talked to several people about losing a loved one to suicide and have received some positive feedback about my advice. I am a medical transcripitionist and have been in the medical field for 20+ years. I feel I survived my dad's death to have the understanding to be able to help others. I love to help others.
Question My girlfriend and I have been on a break for a couple of weeks now... last night we talked and she wants to go on dates with other people to see how things go. I was really crushed.... She said she still loves me but is confused and wants to see what it's like to go out with other guys, and that she wants me to go out with other girls... She is a jr in high school and I am a freshman in college.... We have dated for almost 2 years and things were going great, but she has gotten confused lately and now here we are. I am the type that knows what I want and I want her, I don't feel the same when I'm around her, I get great feelings while we're together and it is always good feelings.... Her parents have talked to her and told her if she has any doubt that she needs to do whatever will make her happy... She looks at things as if there meant to be then there meant to be.... But how can one tell when they need to reconnect? She told me that she thinks we'll get back together, but I am deeply worried that we may not and here I'll be knowing I lost an awesome person and a great loved one.... I treated her very well and it would be difficult for another guy to match... I don't want to sound conceded but she knows this as well, and I think she has taken it for granted here lately and won't realize what she has lost until it's gone... Please help me out as I am having a very difficult time with everything. I have talked things over with my parents and they know whats going on so it's not like i'm keeping things locked up inside.... please help... Thanks
Answer Hey Cody!
I know that you are hurting very badly right now. But I want you to stop and think about how smart your girlfriend is. If she feels like she needs a "break" and needs to test the waters elsewhere then, as difficult as it is going to be for you, you need to let her go! A very wise man once said "in order to hold onto to something you have to let it go". And if you let her go and she never comes back then, yes, it was meant to be. I promise there is someone out there who will love you for who you are and what you have to offer, whether it is this girl or not. At her age, I'm guessing 17, she is WAY too young to think about commitment. If you are, indeed, the best game in town then it won't take long for her to find out. But if she never tried she would always wonder. My advice would be to let her go but let her know that you will be there for her if she needs you. And it might not hurt for you to be seen in the company of other females. Nothing is any more desirable than that which you cannot have. :)
Keep talking to your parents, that is very important. And try not to take this decision as personal. Instead look at it as a time for evaluation of your relationship before you make the commitment and you both end up being miserable and hating each other.
I hope this has helped even a little bit. Don't hesitate to write back and let me know how things are going.
