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About Lynne Luckett
Expertise
I can answer questions about surviving suicide, about losing a family member to suicide and how to heal the hole that is left behind by a loved one committing suicide.
Experience
My father committed suicide when I was 8 years old. It took me 13 years to even start dealing with his death but once the healing started it was truly an educational experience. I know now that he is with me all the time and though his physical self is no longer here, his spirtual self lives on in me and my son. I'm now 49 and have talked to several people about losing a loved one to suicide and have received some positive feedback about my advice. I am a medical transcripitionist and have been in the medical field for 20+ years. I feel I survived my dad's death to have the understanding to be able to help others. I love to help others.
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You are here: Experts > Health/Fitness > Mental Health > Suicide Prevention > My loss
Expert: Lynne Luckett
Date: 5/4/2007
Subject: My loss
Question
Hi my name is Jessica and my best friends dad who was lyk a father to me since mine in incarcerated(dont know how to spell) he killed himself this pass October...i think shes think about killing herself...because she talks about what it would be lyk to be dead, and what it would be lyk to be with her dad again but not on earth...i was wondering if you could tell me how i could talk to her because she refuses to go see a Dr. and she only talks to me mostly...so any advice would be great...
Answer
Hi Jessica!
Thanks for seeking help for your friend. You are very special indeed to care so much.
I like to think of my father in heaven always looking out for me and watching over me. I, too, considered suicide but I believe my father spoke to me and told me I had greater things to do here. And since then I've had a son and gone on to help quite a few people.
I know you and your friend are hurting and missing her father but think about the way he was, his laughter and his kindness and know that though his physical self is no longer here, his spiritual self is and always will be with you. I also believe that somehow he will let you know that he is watching over you both until time to be reunited with him when your jobs are finished here in this life. Either you will hear someone laugh that will make you think it's him or you might smell a certain smell that reminds you of him or someone may use a phrase that only he would use. That will be his way of letting you know that he's okay and he's with you.
It's possible that your friend is feeling guilty because she thinks she could have done more to prevent his death. Tell her for me that once he had made up his mind, NOTHING she could have said or done would have stopped him. At the time a person decides to forfeit the precious gift of life that God has given him or her, there is a fine line that is crossed over and chances are good that it will be successful. She could NOT have loved him more and she could NOT have stopped him; she needs to believe that.
Jessica, you are a very good friend. I'm so sorry to hear that your dad is not available for you when you need him and your friend's dad is gone now too! Take comfort in the friendship that you have with each other and just let her know that you love her as a friend and you're there to listen if she wants to talk. Tell her that God doesn't make junk and He has great plans for her down the road once she gets over this little hill that she has to climb. I believe the fact that she will only talk to you is the work of God and her father. Maybe we can get her through this together. Let me know if I can help further and please let me know how things are going.
Always know that God loves both of you and I do too!
Sincerely,
Lynne
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