AboutLynne Luckett Expertise I can answer questions about surviving suicide, about losing a family member to suicide and how to heal the hole that is left behind by a loved one committing suicide.
Experience My father committed suicide when I was 8 years old. It took me 13 years to even start dealing with his death but once the healing started it was truly an educational experience. I know now that he is with me all the time and though his physical self is no longer here, his spirtual self lives on in me and my son. I'm now 49 and have talked to several people about losing a loved one to suicide and have received some positive feedback about my advice. I am a medical transcripitionist and have been in the medical field for 20+ years. I feel I survived my dad's death to have the understanding to be able to help others. I love to help others.
Expert: Lynne Luckett Date: 11/21/2005 Subject: No point.
Question I am 12 years old, almost 13. I just feel like I am in a place where I do not now if I belong. I'm just tired of everybody hating me, noboddy understands me, they think they do, but even my best friend doesn't understand me. Almost every night I cry myself to sleep. When I'm talking to my friends I don't really pay attention because inside my head I am screaming, thinking of a way just to end all my misery.I've tried starving myself, cutting myself, stabbing myself, and overdosing, and for some reason I can't bring myself to do it. I don't know why. Just so you can picture me a little bit, I am a girl with short black hair and I wear blaack everyday, I always sit by myself, I am tired of being the outcast. Even my best friend thinks I am a freak. I get picked on and called names. Nobody understand me and nobody wants two. No one nows how I feel because I try my hardest to keep it to myself, no one knows there's anything wrong, that's why I need your help. The only way I know how to express myself is through pain. Please just tell me what is wrong with me and why everybody has to hate me. And most importantly tell me wwhy I keep holding on, and not just ending it all.
Answer Dear Amy:
At 12, almost 13, you are at the age when most kids are not sure exactly who they are or what they want. It makes me very sad to hear that you are in such pain and torment. I can almost guarantee that everybody does not hate you and think you are a freak. By the fact that you have a best friend I'm relieved to know that you are not isolating yourself from everyone. What you need, dear Amy, is professional help and if you have tried all of those means to end this precious life God gave you I don't understand why you aren't in counseling. You keep holding on because I believe you really don't want to die, you just want help. Find someone to talk to Amy! Even if it's the counselor at school, a minister or priest, a doctor, the mother of a friend, anyone who will listen and validate that you are a most unique and wonderful human being. God doesn't make junk! I'm sure you've heard that before and it's never been truer than it is right now.
Suicide is a very selfish act Amy and I doubt that you are a selfish person. You are not really considering how miserable everyone would be without you here. You think they don't care but, due to various physiological changes going on inside you right now your perception is distorted. All of us, at one time or another and usually at the onset of puberty, have felt like the ugly duckling and have isolated ourselves from those who love us. I want to ask you to love yourself. When you think that no one loves you, look in the mirror and realize that the person looking back is very, very special. There is no one else on this earth like you Amy and you have so very much to contribute. And, until you can make yourself believe that, you can count on two others who love you: myself and God! I know, I've never met you but I just know that you are going to get through this and ten years from now will remember this as the time when you learned to love who you are. Give yourself a chance, okay?
I hope this has helped some, Amy. Don't hesitate to contact me again if you need to.
