AboutLynne Luckett Expertise I can answer questions about surviving suicide, about losing a family member to suicide and how to heal the hole that is left behind by a loved one committing suicide.
Experience My father committed suicide when I was 8 years old. It took me 13 years to even start dealing with his death but once the healing started it was truly an educational experience. I know now that he is with me all the time and though his physical self is no longer here, his spirtual self lives on in me and my son. I'm now 49 and have talked to several people about losing a loved one to suicide and have received some positive feedback about my advice. I am a medical transcripitionist and have been in the medical field for 20+ years. I feel I survived my dad's death to have the understanding to be able to help others. I love to help others.
Expert: Lynne Luckett Date: 6/14/2004 Subject: surviving a loved one committing suicide
Question Dear Lynne
My Mum committed suicide 7 years ago and my nephew also took his own life a few years. I am currently suffering from depression and I have been given anti depressants by my Doctor. I have at times felt like committing suicide myself, although i do not have the courage to see it through. I currently feel like my life does not have any meaning and I am desperate to find a meaning to enable me to carry on. Can you give me any advice as to how I can help myself to do this? I have come to this point as a result of a breakup from my relationship with a long-term partner, being out of work long-term due to illness and feeling very isolated and lonely.
Answer Hi Karen:
Many of us contemplate suicide from time to time however I find it a positive sign that you have not found the courage to take action on those feelings. I hope your doctor is discussing all of your issues with you in close follow up. Also, you might seek out the advice of your clergy if you have one. Sometimes it helps, too, to write a journal of your feelings. At any rate, keep up the self talk.
As for your life having meaning....remember always that God doesn't make junk! You are so very precious and so needed in this world. You have to keep telling yourself that over and over until it gets proven to you. And, even though it may take some time, I believe that it WILL be proven to you. One of the firm beliefs I have is that even though our physical body cannot be touched and hugged and kissed when we die, our spiritual self never leaves. When a person makes the decision to end this existence it is not because of anything that loved ones have or haven't done. Suicide is a very selfish act even though the person may firmly believe it is the best thing for his or her family. Your mom will come back to you if she hasn't already. You will know when you catch yourself saying something only she would say or doing something only she would do. Or, as it was in my case, you may have a very, very strong feeling of her presence letting you know that she's okay where she is and you are a wonderful person and the best Karen Hooper that there is! You have loved once Karen and you will love again. You just have to be patient. I promise it will happen when you stop thinking so much about it. Love can't find you right now for all the sadness and distress. Seek all the help you can to clear the clouds from your mind and embrace the peace that will follow. Perhaps when you start healing your mind, your body will heal also and then you won't feel it necessary to isolate yourself because you can deal with anything life throws your way!
Well, I think I've used about every cliche I can find! :o) I hope this helps in even a small way and if I can do anything more please don't hesitate to contact me again.
Good luck to you and God bless!
