Tarot Card Readings/Family problem


Hi, recently I have been in a sticky situation with my younger sister and now she won't talk to me. It's been stressing me out because I'm afraid she will no longer want me in her life. I have been giving her space and reflecting what I did wrong. A part of me want to reach out to her but I'm scared she will reject me. The other part of me would rather give her more time and wait but I know my sister is not the type to reach out first. I want to know how should I deal with this situation. My name is Thuyoanh birthday 12/29/1993. My sister is Phuong 09/29/1995

Hello Thuyoanh,

What a breath of fresh air you are! You understand so much, and have already approached this so wisely. Well done! I understand the stress and uncertainty ... that feeling comes through in your question very clearly.

My hunch is that since this is a focused issue with one person, a one-card meditation would be best to keep the advice very clear. If that isn't enough, you are always welcome to ask a follow-up question and we can expand our look.

Before we pull the card, would you mind a few purely intuitive thoughts first? It really jumped out at me when you said "reflecting what I did wrong"...IS it something you did wrong? Or is there something else going on. Of course you Phuong best, but if she is a quiet or withdrawn type that doesn't reach out well in the first place, could it be there is something else going on with her and it isn't all you after all? Could it be that she has an issue with the family as a whole and is distanced from everyone? Or is she having a problem outside the family and is keeping everyone at arms length as a result? How do you know it is you? If you have wronged her somehow, have you apologized and made what amends you could? If so, then that may be all you can do. You can't make someone else forgive. It is her choice and only under her control if she chooses to hold a grudge instead of move on. Do what you can, communicate to her that the door is always open on your side...then it is up to her and her alone whether she walks through it or not.

My martial arts teacher always says "keep doing what you are doing and you'll keep getting what you've been getting. That goes for good things as well as bad. If you do something well, keep it up and you will continue to reap the benefit. If things aren't going well, doing the same thing gets the same result and is a sign that something needs to change. The trick is figuring out what to change and how to change it...and IF you can in this case.

Since giving her space isn't working, and given that you know she isn't likely to approach you, you are left with only one option...you approach her, talk to her. Yes, she may reject you, but that is her choice and under her control. You can't control that choice. You can only cope with it knowing that you did everything you could to show love and keep the way of communication open. Kind of like that old proverb, "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink"...you can love and be open for your sister, always, but you can't force her to walk through that door.

So intuitively, yes, reach out to her...but be prepared for whatever her response may be. You can't control her response BUT you have 100% control how your react to her response. You DO control if you leave that door of communication open for later or slam it shut. You do control if you meet her response with emotion, reason, distance...what have you.

If you don't reach out to her, you'll never know. If you reach out to her, THEN you can use her reaction to gauge what to do next. After that time of reaching out you'll know what you need to do to honor her path...and yours. You'll know how to either help the two of you heal, or how to heal yourself is she chooses the closed path.

That being said, let's see if a card can offer any further insights...

Your card is: Four of Swords

Swords imply action, interaction at a larger social or cultural level. The four in particular is about thinking before acting. In your case I think that contemplation is going to be ABOUT your sister's response...not about whether to reach out or not. When you do reach out to her, stay chill, give some deep thought about your next step after that. You may need to be thick-skinned, and not take her responses too personally. Is it projection? Is she having trouble with a boyfriend and taking it out on you like a petulant teenager? Obviously it isn't that simplified..but you get the idea of the example. Swords always imply courage as much as action. Whatever her response to you, be strong. Don't be a shrinking violet. Have the courage to respect her answer, or the persistence to keep talking if that is what she needs. That is where the contemplation comes in...think and meditate on the situation, and your heart will tell you the path to take based on her response to your reaching out and communicating with you. Your heart will tell you what to do if she refuses to let you reach out. Your heart will guide you about her, and about how to take good care of your own spirit as well. The swords ask you to have the courage to do as your heart guides. It takes courage to realistic face these kinds of emotionally charged situations.

This card is also a validation and thank you...thank you for weighing your options, giving space, thinking before acting, and taking such consideration about the relationship between the two of you.

And there the energy steps back.

Good luck to the both of you!


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Ronda (Baihu) Snow


I give spiritual guidance Tarot readings. I use a pathway, meditation or yes/no layout, whichever matches your question best. Remember, REAL tarot gives you advice and ideas. REAL Tarot can NOT predict the future. REAL Tarot can NOT read other people's minds. This is genuine intuition, not an act, so I will not accept prediction-only questions, third party questions (asking about someone other than yourself,) or pregnancy/medical questions.


Card reader since 1992. Professional reader since 2003. E-mail readings are my specialty. Published e-book author (#PeaceTarot, Bead Mindful, Begin Meditating, Triquetra: The Dance of Worlds), Tarot blogger (www.ModernOracleTarot.com) and co-host of "Menage A Tarot" podcast on iTunes, Stitcher and TuneIn.

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