Expert: Faith - 5/1/2008

Question
Hey Faith. =)
Call me Elizabeth.

My ex and I were together three months. Then, he broke up with me on February 5th. His explanation: 'too different.'

Back in mid February, he had confronted me to ask if we could still be friends. I said 'fine,' but I don't really do anything with him. I'm still avoiding being near him whenever I can't be in his presence.

Last week I asked him on MSN to explain what the differences were... so he told me: 'different interests, different likes/dislikes.'

In that same conversation, I let him know that I felt that we didn't communicate enough, and that I wasn't being open enough. But he said it was too late, and to just drop it and move on.

He then told me that he was not interested in getting back together, and that he no longer likes me in that deep way.

But for some reason, it seems like he still likes me. The one thing that really gives me the tell-all is that I catch him staring at me, he sometimes lingers when I'm around (or pops up in the cafeteria for no particular reason), and then he'll just randomly say hello.

I want to talk to him face-to-face, to dig deeper into this, and see if we could try again. In all honesty, I am willing to make changes for him. Just being with him is all I need, so it wouldn't hurt if I watched some extra TV shows in which he enjoys. Those shows never bored me anyway... I just never put aside the time to watch them.

At the same time I'm afraid to do this. Will this push him further away? Will he hate me? Could he get the wrong message? Would he think I'm too desperate?

I love him with all my heart and soul, and I'm positive he's my soul mate. But with this blip, I can only hope that it's just a time where he needs to be alone to mull things over before jumping back in.

I really do love him, in every way.

What I should do?

Thank you for reading. =)

Answer
hi stacie,
i believe that every guy is different so i can't really be sure what your ex is feeling or thinking. but i do know that guys wouldn't say something like 'not interested' if they didn't really feel that way. guys are usually straight-forward when they don't like someone a little bit more hesitant when they do. i'm sorry if this is painful or horrible to hear, but this is just my opinion, okay?
i think that even if you have the best intentions, there is a possibility that he might get the wrong idea. if he's not ready to talk to you or simply doesn't want to get back together, it might not be the right time to try have this conversation. i know you're hurting and i'm sorry you feel this way, but it might be a good idea to take some time for yourself right now. you miss him a lot, i know, but it might be a good idea to try and get back on your feet before trying again with him. i think he may have changed which is why he wanted to break things off. maybe it's time for you to find out who you really are and then try to see if still feel the same way about him.

hope that made sense.

good luck!