AboutSuzi Zimmerman Expertise I am a teacher and I write books on teen dating, self-esteem, and values. I can answer questions on making healthy choices, self-improvement, liking yourself, relationships and friendships, goal-setting, values, and how to handle making difficult choices.
Experience Today 1 in 5 sexually active people has HPV (linked to cancer and genital warts) and 1 in 4 has Herpes. 90% of girls who do NOT use condoms become pregnant each year, and AIDS cases are on the rise. Those who do not have sex will not have to deal with these issues, nor will 99% of those who use condoms correctly and consistently. In short, abstain from sex or use condoms - and use them correctly.
Parents of adolescent and teen girls should research Gardasil, a vaccine against many forms of HPV. You may not think your daughter will be sexually active, but this will also offer her certain health protection in the event of rape - or should she become sexually active.
Expert: Suzi Zimmerman Date: 6/27/2008 Subject: we broke up but i still love him
Question Hi, i really need your help! my name is rania and i just finished high school (i live in quebec so i finished the 11th grade). anyways, we "dated" in the beginning of the 10th grade but he broke up because my parents werent letting me go out anywhere (because i am dating a guy). and after that we kind of ignored each other. hes not so good looking and before he hung out with nerds and quiet people but after we broke up, we started flirting with girls, A LOT, and hung out with the "cooler" boys. i thought i didnt like him anymore but i always wanted to get him jealous. so one time i grinded at a party with my close friend, charles, and i told my best friend, Lysa, to tell that to nikola. He went ballistic!! he went to charles and insulted him (on msn) and said to him that he was a liar, he didnt like alice but me all the time, which is not true... and then he came up to me and said "oh what a change of personality" and i said "why do you care so much about that, you broke up" and he said "i dont care, i like another girl". at school, in the hallways i ignored him, but around the end of the school year, we got along and we talked to each other. But now, in the 11th grade, a new girl just came to our school, naheed, hes in the same bus and they live on the same street. as soon as she came, he started flirting with her and i asked if he had a crush on her and he said no (i found out later, around the end of the school year that, yes, indeed he did like her a lot). sometimes he would talk about her to me like if he didnt like her. for example, shes muslim and comes from afghanistan and he would say that he would never marry muslims because he likes pork. stuff like that. at one point of the year i realized that i was still in love with him, but i didnt make a move or anything because we werent really talking to each other (just like once a month). at the end of this school year, he would come up to me and just started talking to me during the break, he didnt do that all year long. we had a pre-prom at my school and when i came, i noticed that he was looking at me but i didnt really pay attention to that, until he did it again later. so when there was a dance at the end of the night, a friend of mine grabbed my arm and dragged me to him and she said to me "ask him for a dance". i had no choice, so i asked him. he said no because him ankle hurts (its true he had stands with him) and that we would dance at prom. so this is where it gets interesting, prom. at prom night, (naheed wasnt there) he came to me and told me i was beautiful, that i looked good and if i saw marilou, a girl. before he leaves, he told me i owed him a dance (the pre-prom talk). after that, lysa comes to me and says that him date was marilou! she doesnt even like nikola! later that night, i saw him with a huge gang of people, there were taking pictures, and talking, so i approched, and i came close to him he was like "rania!" and starts hugging me and EVERYTIME someone had a camera he would be like "take a picture". we took like 10 pictures together and he took like 2 with his date. he even asked me to take a picture with his dad and i was in the middle. so prom night finished and it was the after-prom. we went to the same party but he wasnt like at prom night, he wasnt so "oh rania!" and stuff like that. it made me sad, a bit. like im trying to know whether he likes me or not. he says he doesnt like naheed anymore, but i dont know what i should do.
Rania
i put details so you can know whats going on, the exact story, i hope it wasnt too long. thank you.
Answer Rania, it sounds like you really like this boy, but your pride is getting in the way. Which is greater, your love or your pride? Because whichever you allow to grow stronger will conquer the other in the end.
Talk to him. No more games (like trying to make him jealous) and no more jealousy. Those are both extremely destruction forces in a relationship. Love MUST be about honest communication and trust. Be honest with HIM the way you have been honest with me.
The only way you will know if he cares for you is to ask him. If he says yes, you have the answer you wanted and can pursue him. If he says no, which we hope is NOT his answer, you will at least have closure and can focus your attention somewhere else.
Good luck, Rania. I wish you the best, and I'll be here if you need anything else.
