AboutRyan Expertise I can answer questions about long distance relationships, high school/college relationships, crushes, jealousy, heart break, love at a young age, sex at a young age and talking about marriage when you're in your teens. I can also help if your parents dissaprove of your bf/gf. I know all the lingo, I know Facebook, IMing, MySpace, etc., so hearing these words won't be new to me.
Experience I have been through numerous relationships, long distance relationships, and loving ones. I know how to handle every situation in the manner it should be.
Education/Credentials In college for engineering, have taken numerous psychology/sociology classes in college, as well as having a mother who is a psychiatrist.
Question Hey Ryan,
My boyfriend and myself have been dating for 5 months and ever since we've started dating I thought he had feelings for another girl, a girl named Christina that he grew up with, she lives a few states away and last month his mom planned to take a flight over to go see her and her family, he really wanted to go, so he asked me if he could.
I told him that I really didnt want him to, but I didnt want him to look back and regret not going because of me.
It was a pretty one sided conversation with him, he was going and it didnt matter what I had to say. But, something happended and they couldnt get a second ticket (thankgoodness) & so his mom flew out Sunday and she called him yesterday and told him that Christina was really bummed that he didnt go. & that she had said that she has had feelings for him her entire life and needs to see him to see if 'hes the one'. I could tell that something was up because Mondays are the only days hes off from work and the day we always hang out. And normally he calls me early in the day and is over by 12. Today, he waited untill 2 and I could tell that something was up. He sounded really sad and like he didnt really want to see me. It was almost 4 before he finally made it to my house and when he did he wasnt himself. Finally, I got it out of him what him mom said, and as soon as he told me that I got up and walked away.
My sister was talking to him and I was listing through my bedroom wall [he didnt know I was] & he told her that all he thinks about is Christina and he doesnt think about me at all anymore, that he wants to see Christina and all his mind can think about is her. I dont know what to do because I really love him, I just dont want to get hurt with all of this. He says that all relationships go through this and that it's normal for him to hurt me..
I dont want to be his rebound and dont want to be there when he decides that he would rather her.
I dont know if I should trust his word that this is normal, and it will go away. He says he with me right now, but you never know. That can change.
Idk-should i drop him or give him another chance?
Helppp Please!
Answer Hannah,
You're in a tough situation right now, so I can understand your worrying.
What I'd do is talk to him again. Sit him down, and tell him to get everything off his chest about how he feels about her, you, and your relationship. Ask him what he wants to do, and express that you don't want to be the one who ends up alone. Don't be harsh, but stand your ground, you don't want to feel this way.
It is normal for this kind of thing to happen. They have feelings for one another, which is normal, and it sounds as if him thinking about her/the trip may have sparked up those old feelings and is making him act this way. Deep down inside he's just as confused as you.
