AboutRyan Expertise I can answer questions about long distance relationships, high school/college relationships, crushes, jealousy, heart break, love at a young age, sex at a young age and talking about marriage when you're in your teens. I can also help if your parents dissaprove of your bf/gf. I know all the lingo, I know Facebook, IMing, MySpace, etc., so hearing these words won't be new to me.
Experience I have been through numerous relationships, long distance relationships, and loving ones. I know how to handle every situation in the manner it should be.
Education/Credentials In college for engineering, have taken numerous psychology/sociology classes in college, as well as having a mother who is a psychiatrist.
Question QUESTION: "Hi, I had been best friends with a girl since seventh grade. I always knew I had feelings for her and I just felt inside that we would end up together. Even when we were just friends it was almost like we were together. We talked every night and and I fell in love with her. We were as close as two people could ever be. My senior year in highschool we started dating and I was happier than Ive ever been. It was great for a while but after a few months she started acting different. She told me she missed being best friends and she thought things were different now. When she broke up with me I didnt take it very well. I did some things that were frankly rather phsycotic. We tried being friends again after a little while and it just wasnt the same for either of us and I kept crying and begging her to take me back. Ever since the break up I havent been the same person, getting into to drugs and other stupid stuff. I find myself not caring about anything anymore. I miss my best friend so much and I think I will always love her. Ive tried seeing other girls but its not even close to the same. Its been almost a year since the break up and untill about a week ago we hadnt talked in a few months. I called her when I got home from college and she told me to leave her alone and she didnt want to talk to me. I dont know what to do because I miss her as my friend so much more than anything but I think she feels that Im not capable of being only friends, and she wont even really talk to me. I just cant stand not having her in my life anymore but I dont want to keep calling her and be crazy like I was after the break up. Please help!!!"
ANSWER: Steve,
I can relate to this, I've been through it.
I know how hard it is to not have that person in your life anymore, and more than anything, you miss your friend. It seems as if she was shaken up by the break-up as well, and is trying to let it go. She's probably feeling the same way, but can't find it inside her to let you know how she feels.
You need to give her space, like you've been doing. It is hard to not speak to her, but you have to occupy yourself with other things. Drugs and alcohol are not the way to go, at all. Hang out with friends, take a nice vacation, do something that gets your mind off of her. But, I know, no matter what you'll still think of her.
I'd write your feelings down in a note. You can address it to her, and basically say everything you want to, but don't send it. Give it more time, and then e-mail her, or send it to her in the mail when you feel the times is right. Hang in there.
-Ryan
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QUESTION: hey thanks ryan. thats what ive been trying to do. How do i know when the right time is, im scared shell never talk to me again
Answer Hey again, Steve,
It sounds like she really needs the time apart, so a time limit is hard to set.
After you write the letter or get you thoughts together, I'd wait. Again, I can't put a time on it.
When people break-up, they say things they don't mean. People who've dated/been in love really never fall out of love for the other person, but they try. She just needs to be left alone for a while. That's why sending her a letter or e-mail is the best thing to do. It respects her wishes, as you won't be calling or seeing her, it's really the least harmful way of contacting her.
I know it's hard. I'm going through the exact same thing as we speak. My ex and I haven't spoken in weeks and it's killing me. I miss my best friend, and better half. I try to be as positive as possible. Talk to your friends or family about it, just having them listen makes you feel better. Smile and look alive, and hang in there,
