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You are here: Experts > Teens > Teen Advice > Teen Dating Issues > have sex? or not?
Expert: Sandi
Date: 6/26/2008
Subject: have sex? or not?
Question
Hi
I am 16 years old, and met a guy on a family vacation three years ago. He's over a year older than me, and turns 18 in two days. He lives in California, and I live in Massachusetts, but we have kept in touch, talk often, and have seen each other a few times. We spent a lot of time together when we first met, and talk a lot now. I am going to be going to see him when I go to look at colleges next February. At that time I will be 17, and he 18. I'm thinking about having sex with him when I go out there. He will be a freshman in college, and we will be hanging out there, and catching up. I do love him, at least as much as I can. I have never felt as close to someone, or as strongly about someone before in my life. I've told him this, and he has said he loves me as well, and I think he really does. We have talked about sex. He has had sex with one other girl before, and I am a virgin. He's also mentioned blueballs over AIM which just seems like he's kind of pressuring me, but I'm not sure how to deal with that. After we see each other next winter, we probably will not see each other again for a while. I feel so comfortable with him, and I think I'm ready, but I'm not sure if it's a good idea or not, since we wouldn't see each other again for a while, and if something was to happen we live far away from each other, and I'm just not sure.
Thanks
Answer
how would you feel if you had sex with him and then never see him again? would that change anything? because he lives so far away there is a good chance this relationship will not work out. having sex is a big step and you should do it with someone you really know and care about. im just worried because it seems you might not really know him because of the distance,
sandi
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