AboutRyan Expertise I can answer questions about long distance relationships, high school/college relationships, crushes, jealousy, heart break, love at a young age, sex at a young age and talking about marriage when you're in your teens. I can also help if your parents dissaprove of your bf/gf. I know all the lingo, I know Facebook, IMing, MySpace, etc., so hearing these words won't be new to me.
Experience I have been through numerous relationships, long distance relationships, and loving ones. I know how to handle every situation in the manner it should be.
Education/Credentials In college for engineering, have taken numerous psychology/sociology classes in college, as well as having a mother who is a psychiatrist.
Expert: Ryan Date: 6/28/2008 Subject: what to do with "us"?
Question I have this friend and his name Matt. We've been friends since winter, but you could tell we were into each other. We were just a little touchy feely, because we were in class and had to keep it somewhat "PG" and we were always flirty to each other. Anywhoo when we did hang out just us two, we liked to fool around and cuddle all the time, but we were so patient to do stuff. It took like 2 months of hanging out with friends and hanging 1-on-1 like at least 6 times till we had out first kiss. and we both knew we could have went all the way a long time ago. and we just liked to hang in bed and be all over each other for hours. we kinda had a silent agreement to be like friends with benefits, and we were both in party mode and we loved to fool around. And i just liked it so much because I've never had a fun boy toy like him, and we had crazy good chemistry too. But at the last rave, which was like 2 weeks ago, he made a girlfriend who he met that night. I really thought i wasn't going to be jealous or hurt, but i am. which sucks, but im more confused of whats going on. Because last time when he had a girlfriend we still did stuff and flirted. Also i did never force him to do anything, actually he is the one who is more aggressive to me. when he had a girlfriend, its like we just acted like he never had her. And what im worried about is the next time we hang out, which is soon. because its going to me, him and another good friend, and I wonder what he's gonna try to do with me. But i cant make up my mind of what i want to do with him. I know i still want to be friends with him, but under what conditions? will we still do the same thing but differently or just go to being normal friends?
Answer Oz,
That's the problem with having "friends with benefits". Unless you have no feelings at all, about anything in the world, it won't work. You're feeling jealous, something you didn't think you'd feel, but it's normal.
You need to make up your own mind as to what you want with Matt. Remember you are your own person, and you make your own decisions. If you want to continue being "friends with benefits", stop and realize how you feel right now, because you will feel this way again most likely. You may also want to try talking to Matt, letting him know how it's making you feel.
