AboutSuzi Zimmerman Expertise I am a teacher and I write books on teen dating, self-esteem, and values. I can answer questions on making healthy choices, self-improvement, liking yourself, relationships and friendships, goal-setting, values, and how to handle making difficult choices.
Experience Today 1 in 5 sexually active people has HPV (linked to cancer and genital warts) and 1 in 4 has Herpes. 90% of girls who do NOT use condoms become pregnant each year, and AIDS cases are on the rise. Those who do not have sex will not have to deal with these issues, nor will 99% of those who use condoms correctly and consistently. In short, abstain from sex or use condoms - and use them correctly.
Parents of adolescent and teen girls should research Gardasil, a vaccine against many forms of HPV. You may not think your daughter will be sexually active, but this will also offer her certain health protection in the event of rape - or should she become sexually active.
Question OK, so. Me and my boyfriend have been going out for a little more than a week now. He told me he would call me on saterday so we could make plans to hang out on sunday, now, it's wensday, and I haven't heard from. He hasn't been online, hasn't call or text me. I worry that something is wrong with him. Should I dumb him for ignoring me like that??
One more thing, how would I tell my mom I want to go to the movies with a guy when she doesn't trust me what-so-ever??
Answer Shay, don't dump him. He may not realize your expectations. So talk to him. Tell him that your expectations include following through (calling when he says he will) and staying in touch. THEN if he disappears for four days, dump him. Also, what have YOU done to stay in touch with him? Remember, it's two ways.
As for the trust issue, the only way to gain it is to be a person your mom can trust. Why doesn't she? Whatever has happened in the past to create a gap, you have to fix it. Trust is one of the hardest things in the world to earn, because parents fear so much for their children's safety and security. Every little lie to you is twenty times more frightening to them. It leaves them wondering if they can ever believe you, how many lies you've told that they never caught, and so on. It signals danger in their eyes.
In order to be trusted, you must be a person others can be comfortable investing their faith in. Think of it like money and a business. If you had a friend you couldn't trust and one you could, and both wanted to borrow $100 to start a lawn mowing business promissing to pay you back double, which would get your money? Would either? Now think of it like a race. Every time you tell the truth, you take a step forward. Perhaps you don't get to go to a party like your friends (who lie to their parents), so they look like they are taking ten steps forward, right? They look like they are winning the race, but they aren't. They get into trouble. They get caught or get pregnant or get a bad reputation, and even though you were behind, suddenly, their parents can't trust them anymore. Now they have to lie EVERY TIME, but your parents trust you, and you are enjoying having their faith.
It's not easy being trustworthy, and it's not always fun. However, in the end, it's VERY easy to see which adults did it right and which ones did it wrong. Those who are trusted handle million dollar accounts; those in whom others cannot invest their trust feel lucky to have a job.
Work to earn your mother's trust, and be patient about the movies. Perhaps your mother will comprimise and allow you to bring a boy over to watch a DVD instead, under her watchful eye. Perhaps she'll even provide soda and popcorn.
