AboutFaith Expertise I understand crushes, first loves, heartaches, heart breaks... how it feels to cope with school work, peer pressure, family issues...everyone has different experiences but i will always try to help you with yours.
Experience I know all about being a teenager. i was one and right now at twenty four, I have three siblings who are going through the same thing.
Education/Credentials currently a post grad law student
Expert: Faith Date: 7/4/2008 Subject: Post-Break Up (Is it too late?)
Question My ex-girlfriend broke up with me last week because of stress from her famiy, academics, school life and needed space. I of course felt heart-brokened and shocked about the situation. I feel a little better now since a week of time kind of healed my heart. Few days later, she texted me how am I doing and had a casual friendly texting conversation almost everyday. Things were good and I thought I was making the transition of "getting over her". But recently I met her at the hospital where we both volunteered once a week and when I first saw her since break up. All my feelings for her rushed back in me. It was kind of hard because the way she looked at me and approached me was different before. Obviously I'm not over with her and really want her to come back. I was thinking about being friends and texting her everyday was not a good approach which stirs more memories. I was about to go ask her out for a friendly date to a movie but I believe now it is too early dont you think? I read an article that told me to stop texting, contacting her too often, move on and see if there is a chance where she show signs where she misses me and then make my move. My goal is to be friends with her and improve my chance on creating a new relationship I'm not sure anymore and confused. What would you do if you were in my shoes? Thanks!
Answer hi jay,
it sounds to me that your girlfriend didn't think your break up through. if she was having problems with family, school and other things that she can't control, she probably turned to the one thing she knew she could take charge of, namely your relationship. does that make sense? at the time she probably thought it would be best to break up but deep down maybe she didn't really want to. but it took a break up to make her realize it.
it's understandable that you're confused and even a little bit scared. she hurt you and she does need to gain your trust again. my advice is if you're not over her, than maybe trying to be just friends isn't a good idea. at least not yet. it's easy to get mixed up with the feeling of missing someone and wanting to be with them again.
but if you really think you want to be her boyfriend again, then maybe you can just be honest with her. tell her upfront that you miss her and that you want to be with her but you're not sure about where you stand etc. at least this early on you'll know where you stand.
i guess that's what i would do if i were in your place. it's really difficult to get over someone when you're around them constantly. it's even harder to pretend that you're okay with being friends when you want something more. but i would take the time to really listen to myself and figure out what i want. either way, put yourself first, okay?
