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About Ryan
Expertise
I can answer questions about long distance relationships, high school/college relationships, crushes, jealousy, heart break, love at a young age, sex at a young age and talking about marriage when you're in your teens. I can also help if your parents dissaprove of your bf/gf. I know all the lingo, I know Facebook, IMing, MySpace, etc., so hearing these words won't be new to me.
Experience
I have been through numerous relationships, long distance relationships, and loving ones. I know how to handle every situation in the manner it should be.
Education/Credentials
In college for engineering, have taken numerous psychology/sociology classes in college, as well as having a mother who is a psychiatrist.
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You are here: Experts > Teens > Teen Advice > Teen Dating Issues > Shy Girlfriend
Expert: Ryan
Date: 7/6/2008
Subject: Shy Girlfriend
Question
Hi, my name is James. My girlfriend and I have been going out for about 3 or
4 weeks, and she is extremely shy. We both go to a school far away from our
houses, and we live about 2.5 hours away from each other, so we don't see
each other apart from at school and with our 5 other close friends. It is
difficult to be alone with her because I am pretty much a natural leader and
the rest of my friends follow me wherever I go. I am 13 years old and so is
she. I recently asked her via a text message what she would say if I told her I
wanted to kiss her and she says that she would say yes. I took this as a pretty
good sign, and met her alone at her locker the next morning. Although, she
just got some books out of her locker and kept walking, only responding
when I said hello, and even then went about her business with me following
after. Eventually I thought I had to say something, and I stated "this is only
100 times more awkward than I expected". She responded with a smile, but
still didn't look at me and kept walking. Just for the record, she is my first
girlfriend and I have never kissed anyone before. Once we got back to the
rest of our friends, I knew I didn't have a chance, and I was right. There has
never been any real physical contact between us, and I'm really nervous. Like I
said, she is very shy and that makes building a relationship with her much
harder. Where should I go from here? Even holding hands with her seems
daunting. Please help!
Answer
James,
You're both young, and although you may be ready to kiss, deep down inside she may not be. Talk to her about it. Ask her what she's feeling about the situation, and that there's no pressure. It may take time, and you should respect it if it is the case. Believe me, it will happen.
-Ryan
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