AboutRyan Expertise I can answer questions about long distance relationships, high school/college relationships, crushes, jealousy, heart break, love at a young age, sex at a young age and talking about marriage when you're in your teens. I can also help if your parents dissaprove of your bf/gf. I know all the lingo, I know Facebook, IMing, MySpace, etc., so hearing these words won't be new to me.
Experience I have been through numerous relationships, long distance relationships, and loving ones. I know how to handle every situation in the manner it should be.
Education/Credentials In college for engineering, have taken numerous psychology/sociology classes in college, as well as having a mother who is a psychiatrist.
Expert: Ryan Date: 7/7/2008 Subject: My gf cheated on me
Question My gf and I have been together for 3 and a half years now. I am 21 years old she is 20. About 2 month ago i went away on a trip for 1 week, which she suggested i take with my friends just to get away, i was unable to contact her while i was there. When i came back she was furious and wanted a break and all such, i fought for the relationship for a month and tried to make it up to her and was basicaly on her shit the entire time even tho i did nothing on that trip and she is aware of that. Then she finally comes clean and tells me she met some one else and she likes him and hes all nice and sweet to her. I told her i love her and to stay with me she said she will stay with me and she loves me. For that month she kept being a bitch and lying to me..untill i cought her out with that guy and kissing him. She saw that I saw her and i just drove off...didnt speak or respond to her for 2 weeks after that at all. I then find she is leaving away messages for that other guy saying how she misses him and all these cute songs and words which are for him, she admitted herself to me when we finally spoke this week. She was crying to me telling me she loves me and wants to marry me and im the only one she wants as a husband but she feels like she has to experience this in life. I am her first love and her first relationship. I understand where she is coming from i told her, and i told her im in love with her even after what she did and i told her i understand that she needs to experience things in life and needs to see what this really is all about. I have always been a man to her i took care of her, never violent with her and never cheated on her. I always put her back in her place and she never thought twice of talking back to me. Our sex life is amazing because even now she said she still wants to have sex with me because she cannot live without that. She asked me to stay in her life and wants me in her life but we arent "together". Now I'm sitting here and realising my girlfriend that im in love with is now entertaining another relationship with some other sweetheart type of guy. She came clean to me and told me the truth, she said hes sweet to her and when they hang out she feels like she is in charge, she said hes different and does what ever she says. So basically now shes entertaining their relationship and talking to him every single day all day on her Sidekick, she says he buys her gifts (clothing) and takes her to different places ( he doesnt drive ) and just does w/e she says.But she still tells me she loves me when i talk to her which is once a day or so, and still has sex with me. I'm trying to figure out what this really is and if she has to go thru it as her being young and inexperienced. And is her affection towards him going to last.
Facts:
-She admitted i am the only one who can keep her check and put her back in her place, and when shes with me she feels safe happy and loved but shes not in charge. And she admits she knows she needs a man who can take charge of her.
-When shes with him she says shes in charge and hes scared to say anything wrong to her, also its been only a month and a half with them and hes showring her with gifts and talks to her non stop telling her where he is, what hes doing and who he is with. He is also 21 years old.
Any advice or opinions on this would be great. I am in love with her and she tells me she loves me also ( apparently ) but were still going thru this bullshit. Do you think she will come back to me once she gets bored or w/e the case might be....Just give me some feedback, opinion.
Answer Ben,
Her wanting to go out and experience other things is normal, as you have pointed out. Sometimes, especially with a first love, we wonder what else is out there, and need to see if the other person is truly "the one".
From what you're telling me, you two are still in love, and have sex together. But, there is another guy. It seems as if she's loving being in control with the other guy, something she didn't have with you.
You need to stop and think if this is what you want. Having sex when not in a relationship is tough, because there are obvious emotions going on.
I think she will come back to you eventually, how long, who knows. Again, think long and hard if this is healthy for you, and if you can handle it. Try talking to her, and lay everything out there for her to hear.
