Expert: Deborah - 10/26/2009

Question
I am now going throught a break-up and i feel horrible. I feel like I have no purpose in this life without my ex. He broke up with me because he didnt love me and he didnt want to hurt me by staying with me without feelings. I agree with him on that issue but its so hard to let go. He said that we could still be friends but Im not sure if I can go through with seeing him everyday at school as just a friend wen i adore him so much; but, i also dont want to just let him go. Should we be friends or not? and how do i get over this depression of a break-up?

Answer
Dear Rebecca,

Probably it's better not to be friends right now.  In a few weeks it won't hurt so badly.

The feeling you are having is actually like a drug withdrawal.  Being in love causes a natural hormone in our bodies to be released, called oxytocin.  A break up causes our bodies to make much less of this substance, so it makes us feel depressed, anxious, etc.

Luckily, in a week or two your body will adjust and you will be feeling a lot better.  Liking a new guy also helps.

Good luck,

Deb