AboutNorthstar Expertise I can answer questions about how to make a long distance relationship work, how to work through conflicts that may occur within a relationship (ie jealousy, trust issues, controlling behavior, insecurity). I also know how to work WITH parents and siblings in a positive way so that they respect a couple's boundaries, and don't try to chase significant others away. I can answer questions about sex (whether you are being sexually harrassed, or if you are trying to figure out if you are ready to have sex). I can also answer questions about abuse (whether it is emotional or physical) and provide solutions and ways to protect yourself. I can also answer questions about how to read body language, how to approach a crush and get to know someone better. I can help people navigate conflict between friends and significant others. I know how to fix dating mishaps (ie how to minimize an awkward moment and turn it around to YOUR advantage).
Experience I had many different types of relationships when I was in high school, and I believe that going to college also helped me better understand the dynamics of dating. I have younger cousins that are in high school, and I frequently help them with their problems (and their friends' problems too!). When you are a teen, dating can be very confusing and tricky, I have the experience and know how to help people work through their problems in a positive way. I've dealt with just about every problem out there, from friends who gossip to over protective parents. I understand that when a problem arises, it can be devastating, and sometimes a person just needs someone to listen to what they are going through and provide some helpful words.
Education/Credentials I recently graduated from college with a BA in History.
Question QUESTION:
This guy is sorta my brothers friend, (4 years older than me)
And ive had a huge crush on him ever since he seemed to be a lil interested in me (he sometimes looks at me and when i see him, he quickly looks away, passes by me often etc.)
I havent seen him in 4 months and i probably wont for a while ..
I really dont know what to do next time i see him !
ANSWER: If you are 16 (or younger), and this guy is 20 or so, forget about it. You are far too young to be interested in a guy that old.
If however, you are AT LEAST 18, and this guy is 22, then it's ok. Just be polite and nice. You shouldn't make a move on him because he is first and foremost your BROTHER'S friend. If he is interested in you, he probably hasn't made a move because: 1. You are four years younger, and 2. he knows it would put your brother in an awkward position.
If you're interested in this guy, I suggest you go talk to your brother FIRST. Sit him down and have a heart to heart with him. Say that you think you might be interested in his friend, but you didn't want to do anything that would cause problems between him and his friend OR you and him. Act like an adult and your brother will be more likely to treat in a fair and mature manner. Don't be surprised if he says no way, and asks that you stay away from him. Your brother will of course be trying to protect you, but he also knows how his friend normally treats women, and maybe the picture isn't too flattering.
Good luck.
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Thanks soo much :)
But i just wanted to let you know that im 15 and hes 18 .. (so 3 years oops)
I have really strong feelings for him, and i think he might feel something for me too..
Should i still follow the steps you gave me ? (if i were 18 or older)
Answer When you are a few years older, three years won't make a big difference. But right now there is just too much of a maturity gap. I realize that you may think you are mature, but look at it this way: you don't have your license, you are legally restricted by how many hours you can work (as well as what kinds of jobs you can hold), you can't vote, or smoke (not that I condone smoking). You're just getting used to high school, and this guy will be, or has already graduated. That means he's off at COLLEGE. Living on his own and doing as he pleases. I think you are simply too young for him at this point. Furthermore, depending on where you live, and what the law for your state is- you are considered a minor. That means if you two DO end up dating- HE could go to jail and be marked as a pedophile. I know you don't want that to happen, so it's best to just play it safe.
Get to know him and build a strong friendship. Wait until you are 17 or 18. By then you will be more mature, have more life experience, and you won't be as easy to manipulate. Again, I realize that you probably don't see yourself as someone who is easy to manipulate, but trust me- in this scenario, the older guy inevitably ends up with more power and influence.
Relax and get to know him. When you are older, your brother will be more likely to support your decision to pursue his friend. Right now though, your brother WILL NOT be happy with the thought of his 15 year old kid sister dating his 18 year old buddy.
