AboutNorthstar Expertise I can answer questions about how to make a long distance relationship work, how to work through conflicts that may occur within a relationship (ie jealousy, trust issues, controlling behavior, insecurity). I also know how to work WITH parents and siblings in a positive way so that they respect a couple's boundaries, and don't try to chase significant others away. I can answer questions about sex (whether you are being sexually harrassed, or if you are trying to figure out if you are ready to have sex). I can also answer questions about abuse (whether it is emotional or physical) and provide solutions and ways to protect yourself. I can also answer questions about how to read body language, how to approach a crush and get to know someone better. I can help people navigate conflict between friends and significant others. I know how to fix dating mishaps (ie how to minimize an awkward moment and turn it around to YOUR advantage).
Experience I had many different types of relationships when I was in high school, and I believe that going to college also helped me better understand the dynamics of dating. I have younger cousins that are in high school, and I frequently help them with their problems (and their friends' problems too!). When you are a teen, dating can be very confusing and tricky, I have the experience and know how to help people work through their problems in a positive way. I've dealt with just about every problem out there, from friends who gossip to over protective parents. I understand that when a problem arises, it can be devastating, and sometimes a person just needs someone to listen to what they are going through and provide some helpful words.
Education/Credentials I recently graduated from college with a BA in History.
Question okay so i need a guys opinion. I dated this guy a few years back and we promised each other that no matter what we would be friends. well we broke up because we went to different schools, or at least thats what he said his reason was. but then he told me he liked me still, and i of course still did too,he's the guy that'll i will always have feelings for, but at this time i told him it was best if he found someone at his school to go homecoming with, he told me that the next year he was going to ask me to homecoming as many times as it took until i said yes. so we've had a bit of a past but we've remained friends through everything. Now we are at the same school again and my feelings for him are going crazy. We were hanging out all the time and he would drop his hints that he liked me, i was tired of waiting for his move. so i told him how i felt. he told me he didnt want to "confuse/complicate" things and that we shouldnt go out now and i told him i wasnt waiting. n he said if things change its his fault. then homecoming came, n he would have only had to ask once. he didnt ask at all. he went with someone else...but spent the whole night with me and my friends. and then we went to the movies a few nights ago, scary movie. hes always been the guy i hold onto during scary movies, and he put his arm around me and then jokingly held on like he was scared, this is where i need help, then he asked me "do you need a hand?" b/c i always held his hand during movies...and i said no. i dont know why, i still like him alot but the thing is i told him how i feel nd now hes showing mixed signals i dont know what to do, do i wait until he's ready? all the girls would love to date him, and he gets bored easily so is it worth waiting for him, then we date, then he gets bored and goes to another girl, should i try to just think of him as a friend? what do u think?
Answer You don't 'need' a guy's opinion on this, but that's besides the point.
You need to sit him down and have an honest conversation with him. Tell him once more that you care for him dearly, but that his mixed signals are confusing you and playing havoc with your emotions. Tell him that things have to change, for your sake AND for his. If he only wants to be friends- fine. But that means he has to treat you ONLY as a friend, and nothing more. If he wants to try dating, that works too.
Ask him what his concerns are, and why he's playing hot and cold with you.
If he cares about you AT ALL (either as a friend, or as something more) then he needs to respect you and stop toying with you. If his confusing behavior continues, stop hanging out with him. He either can't make up his mind or he's chicken. If you remove yourself from him, it may be the 'push' he needs to realize that he can't make it without you. Or maybe it will be the 'push' you need to realize that you deserve to be with someone who is going to commit to you completely.
