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About Suzi Zimmerman
Expertise
I am a teacher and I write books on teen dating, self-esteem, and values. I can answer questions on making healthy choices, self-improvement, liking yourself, relationships and friendships, goal-setting, values, and how to handle making difficult choices.

Experience
Today 1 in 5 sexually active people has HPV (linked to cancer and genital warts) and 1 in 4 has Herpes. 90% of girls who do NOT use condoms become pregnant each year, and AIDS cases are on the rise. Those who do not have sex will not have to deal with these issues, nor will 99% of those who use condoms correctly and consistently. In short, abstain from sex or use condoms - and use them correctly. Parents of adolescent and teen girls should research Gardasil, a vaccine against many forms of HPV. You may not think your daughter will be sexually active, but this will also offer her certain health protection in the event of rape - or should she become sexually active.

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Teen Dating Issues - quick question about a girl situation...

Expert: Suzi Zimmerman - 11/4/2009

Question
how's it going, suzi? just curious about something. i'll break the sentences up so i can make this quick and not keep rambling on. lol. walking in hallway to class. walked past a girl. smiled and said "hi" to me. did the same back. i then said "by the way, you look really good". she said "aww, thank you". i went to class. next week, i was in computer lab. she came in. sat next to me. i got kinda shy. didnt say "hi" to her. i struck up brief convo about if theres a class coming in here soon. she said "yea". i noticed her pupils kinda dilated, which may have been a good sign. turns out she was there cuz she was in that class. 2 weeks later, i was in lab again. sat near where i sat last time, but different seat. she came in. looked at me as she walked in. i got shy and broke eye contact. sat next to me again. too shy to say "hi" to her. she looked in my direction a couple times, but pretended she was staring at something behind me when i looked at her. i struck up brief conversation with her. i think she could tell i was trying. i was a little nervous since lab was quiet and people were there. i got her name. i left for class few minutes later. got home that night. reluctantly searched for her on facebook. sent email 9pm that night. gist of it said "i remembered your name, crossed fingers i might find you on here.. every time i see you, i keep wanting to talk to you.. then i have second thoughts about putting you on the spot.". she emailed back at 1:15am. it said "haha its okay and yeah im always there so i don't care. lol.". i emailed back this morning to keep convo going and said "lol. that's kool. just curious, what are you majoring in? i don't remember ever seeing you around before...". haven't heard back from her yet. what are your thoughts on the situation? between her being hot and also emailing me back at 1:15am, i would be really surprised if she didn't have a bf. but at the same time, i could be thinkin negative and it's hard for me to gauge since i've been kinda shy and second-guessing everything. thanks so much for reading this long email. take care...

Answer
Matt, you shouldn't read into her pupils or the timing or her looks or anything like that. Trying to "read into" ANY situation is asking for trouble. Ten people interpreting your situation would all tell you TEN DIFFERENT THINGS.

Instead of trying to interpret her, focus on YOU. Be the kind of person people like and respect (for the RIGHT reasons, not because you can chug a beer or get a laugh with a prank), because YOU are the only person you can control and truly interpret.

You seem nice. She seems nice. You know SO little about her, you are left to try to fill in the blanks by guessing. Instead of guessing, do the smart thing. Get to know her. BE HER FRIEND. Friends don't place expectations on each other, so don't. Don't try to be her boyfriend, and don't interpret every action or word. Just be her friend, get to know her, and let nature take its course. If she likes you and if you like her (as more than friends), it will happen. There will be very little left to interpret. If she doesn't or if you don't (it's possible to not feel romantic toward a hot girl once you get to know her), then it won't happen.

I hope this helps. Good luck!

Suzi

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