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About Deborah
Expertise
I can help you with questions about your relationships. For example, I can help you decide whether or not it is a good idea to date a certain person, if they are much older or younger than yourself. I can help you regarding sexuality, what is healthy, what is not, how to say no, how to know if you are in love, etc.

Experience
I had many relationships in high school, and as a teen in general. I know what the outcomes of certain situations will be, as I have been through them myself. I know the dangers of dating people who are not the right age. I have experience with situations regarding sex, also.

Education/Credentials
I have a bachelor's Degree Psychology and Biology, and am halfway through a Master's Degree, also in Biology. I have access to and read many of the top medical journals, from which I also get the best, most thorough and accurate to answers to pressing interpersonal, sexual, medical and health related questions.

You are here: Experts > Teens > Teen Advice > Teen Dating Issues > I am wondering if this is too much, please help.

Teen Dating Issues - I am wondering if this is too much, please help.

Expert: Deborah - 11/1/2009

Question
Hello

I am wondering if I will ever find the right one. I know you may have received tons of questions like this, but please take a look of the description below you will understand that it is not simple for me.

I am a 17 years old guy senior year in high school, to be very honest I am smart and kind, I almost never reject any help request from my mates. But here comes the problem, I have too much exceptions in me.
1. I am not racist but I am asian with nothing asian inside (except that I have a mixed accent of british, asian and russian), and find nothing attractive in asian girls (no offense to anyone), I rarely hang around asians, I only find white girls attractive (but they just dont like me back).

2. I don't believe in any religion, which also cut off half of the population because christians date within their own religion

3. I am a die hard metalhead with the only quality of liking heavy metal music, I dont smoke or drink or do rugs, basically I am one of the good school boys but I just like that music (which scares most girls away).

4. I am an athlete and do track and sports, but I am just a skinny guy with some muscles on.

So you see these four points, they are nothing related if you ask anybody, but it just happens to be in me at the same time......the two points leave out only caucasian females with no religious beliefs, and within these females, there should be a girl who don't mind me being a good and kind man, liking heavy metal and being athletic at the same time. Whoever dont mind me liking heavy metal will be a girl who like metal too, but then like most metalheads, they smoke and drink and do drugs, which is not what I do, I am a good person. An athletic girl wont like heavy metal, neither will a good girl.

I am still on process getting over a crush on best friend, which makes me think a lot recently and that is how I come up with this. I was thinking maybe I will find the right person next time but then I realize I am quite hopeless with these qualities.

I dont wanna change any of my qualities for anyone, because if I do, I will lose my sense of self, then it is not the same Percy.

Thanks a lot, please give me advice and help please thank you.

Percy

Answer
Dear Percy,

You have many very attractive qualities. Don't worry, the immature things that girls are attracted to now, at your age, will change when you are in college. In college, girls want to date the best husband material, i.e., the smart guy who will be successful in life. That is YOU.

Still, there are girls in high school at your age who appreciate the qualities that you have. A good way to get to know more girls is through joining clubs that meet after school, where you can interact with them one on one. Are there any subjects you are really good at in school? If so, if you notice a girl that you like struggling with homework, you could offer to help her understand the homework better.

Facebook is another excellent way to get to know girls very well. You can talk to them a lot more on Facebook than you can in person at school.

You have your entire life ahead of you and you will meet hundreds of nice women.

Best wishes,

Deb

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