Expert: Joanne - 6/21/2009

Question
Hey Joane,
Firstly, sorry if this is a long question - I just thought it'd help if I included as much detail as possible.

Well, a few days ago, my girlfriend (who is 15) dumped me (I am 16). I asked her why, and she said that it was because whenever I had a problem or was insecure about something in the relationship I would go to her friends instead of talking to her about it. I told her I wouldn't do that anymore(I really mean that) but she said no, and when I asked her if she still liked me she said no as well.

That was a few days ago. I still can't stop thinking about it - how perfect she was, and how suddenly this happened. She was perfectly normal until the day before she dumped me, then she closed up on me before finally dumping me. My theory is that she found out from her friends the day before that I had talked to them about the relationship,but I don't know.

Anyway, I've set myself on getting her back rather than moving on until I know it is 100% hopeless. I'm trying not to come across as depressed or desperate. I've only seen her once since we broke up (we passed each other at school)and I just smiled and said hi, she said hey, but it sounded awkward. Apart from that, I've made no contact.

However, the night after it happened, I did end up talking to one of her friends and sounding upset, which I fear could get back to her. I was upset to find out that a day after she dumped me, she told her friend that she didn't regret her descision.

If this helps, although we go to the same school, we don't have any classes together, and we aren't in the same friend groups so I'm worried about her forgetting me. Her parents are strict so calling and visiting her are out of the question. Also, neither of us are keen on txting, so I don't think anything txt related would be good.

Please, can you help me devise a plan and give me tips for getting her back. If you want any more info just ask. I apologise for making this so long.

Thank you very much,
Alex

Answer
Hey Alex,
A key thing that you could do is to befriend one of her friends. If you become friends with someone in her crowd, you can open up to that friend about how you want her back, and the friend may be able to talk to your ex to maybe pursuade her into giving you another chance. Even if that doesn't work, you may still get an explanation as to why things went wrong in the first place. Good luck!

-Jo =)