AboutFaith Expertise I understand crushes, first loves, heartaches, heart breaks... how it feels to cope with school work, peer pressure, family issues...everyone has different experiences but i will always try to help you with yours.
Experience I know all about being a teenager. i was one and there's nothing i love more than helping and listening to those who need a someone to listen to them.
Education/Credentials currently a post grad law student
Question Hello again Faith = )
So, last week . I was on my facebook & I got a message from a girl asking if I was dating a boy named Robert, I said yes . Later I got a message back sayin how he went over her house & he did some stuff he shouldn't have done, & he said he had a girlfriend but he said he didnt care about her . My heart sank . I took a few minutes to think about it, because it didnt sound like something he would say or even do . I told his friend about it & I guess he told Robert, about 3 days later maybe 2 days later I was on Facebook & he tells me he found out that I knew about it . & right there I knew it was true after all . So we're arguing & he's saying he didnt say he didnt care about me, but he did kiss her & that was it . I was still pissed, because he always told me he wouldnt do anything to hurt me such as cheating . So from that day he's been asking for forgiveness but I cant . . Cause I feel like If I do it, i'll regret it later on . & he needs to experience the pain I feel since he already knows im still mad because I havent picked up at all when he called . He thinks I should just put it behind him since it was only a kiss & this is his 1st time . But at the same time I feel like I should just dump him also . What should I do ?
Answer hey asia,
i know it's hard but in my opinion, you're under no obligation to forgive him if he doesn't deserve it right now.
he hurt you very badly, it's not just that he cheated but he lied about not hurting you. that's a blow to any relationship and sometimes sorry isn't enough - at least not right away.
you don't have to forgive someone because you don't want them to feel bad or because they seem genuinely sorry. when trust is broken it has to be earned back because that's the only way to move past something.
i suggest you tell him this. set him straight about how angry you are and how you're not prepared to jump back into a relationship. ask him to give you some space.
if he really wants to get back together with you, he'll be willing to do whatever it takes to make you comfortable and to trust him again. remember, you don't owe him anything.
and honestly, even if this was his first time to cheat, i don't think that's a valid excuse or reasoning to get smoeone to forgive you for cheating in the first place. and he shouldn't tell you what to think about what he did. you're entitled to think and feel however you want.
