Expert: Nicole - 6/18/2009

Question
Okay, this is REALLY long, sorry.
Hi I'm a guy and I am 16 and next year I will be going into my junior year. There is a girl who is also my age and we have been good friends for the last 3 years but just this past month we have gotten a lot closer just by talking a lot about some problems.

I have had a crush on her before, but then I switched back to a different girl who I had actually like for almost 4 years. But this past month, I realized that the girl that I actually really like and can see myself with is this girl who is my friend. The thing is, all this time, I had thought that she liked this other guy who I am friends with. The four of us (the girl i liked, my friend who i now like, and my guy friend) hung out together this year and I just got a feeling that the friend i like had a crush on him. I thought she was more interested in what he had to say and I thought she seemed kind of flirty with him and that was actually why I kind of gave up liking her in the first place. But this guy seems to like this other girl (the other girl is kinda bitchy and she hangs around with a group of girls who are slutty and bitchy). The guy and this other girl clearly like each other

and my friend who I like asked me about them and if I thought they liked each other. I was surprised she was talking to me about this and I gave her my opinion that they did like each other. We then talked for a while about how some of those girls were really bitchy and slutty and they were stupid and stuff. At this point I wanted to ask her if she liked my guy friend but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

So then over facebook I asked her if she liked my friend, she asked my why i was wondering and i said i was just wondering. she said "not really, he is so frustrating sometimes it is hard to like him, idk if that makes sense..."
then i said "lemme clarify, you kinda like him but he is an idiot usually?"
she said "well not exactly, i dont really. he's not an idiot usually, just like sometimes haha, when he hangs out with certain people."
i asked "what does 'i don't REALLY' mean"
she said "it means basically no"
i said "you keep sayin BASICALLY no and not REALLY... those arent very clear words to use"
then she said "i dont like him bc of how he acts with those 'others' "
then i said "were you sayin basically because if it werent for those others you would like him?"
she said "i think it means i dont know"

we have been talking a lot recently and after this conversation i felt like maybe there was a chance that she liked me. she does make a lot of eye contact with me and she is innocent but not naive (meaning she doesnt really swear and she is not slutty. she wont wear slutty clothes, she clearly was brought up well, but she still sees people around her who are slutty and swear and she isnt oblivious to it). she does make physical contact with me sometimes, she will bump into me when i dont see her coming to say hi. we were sitting in bleachers at a volleyball game and she was bumping me over just for fun. also, there was a surprise bday party for her last week and we were playing volleyball and her hand got dirty and then she kinda wiped it on me (jokingly). also when I left that party she was saying good bye to kids and she privately gave me a hug just before i left (i dont know if she did that for anyone else)

I don't know if I missed anything because there is so much. basically i just want to know if you think she likes me, especially from the conversation about her possibly liking the other guy. with a girl like her who is clearly brought up well and a good person what are some signs that she might like me? i think i will make a move with her but id just like some advice, thanks

Answer
D..
I think you are right. By the way she is looking at you and touching you I think she probably has some feelings for you. The thing that you have to take into consideration is that she might have feelings for you and your friend. I think that the best thing for you to do is to ask her how she feels about the both of you. She already seems to be veering away from him considering your guys' conversation and the fact that he likes a girl new now and she knows it. However, it would still be best for you two to get it out in the open so she can't say down the road "well I did like both of you just as much...". Let her know how you feel. Girls are pretty intuitive so she probably already has an idea that there is something between you guys. But you need to let her know verbally now. Good luck!