AboutFaith Expertise I understand crushes, first loves, heartaches, heart breaks... how it feels to cope with school work, peer pressure, family issues...everyone has different experiences but i will always try to help you with yours.
Experience I know all about being a teenager. i was one and there's nothing i love more than helping and listening to those who need a someone to listen to them.
Education/Credentials currently a post grad law student
Question QUESTION: hey..this is my first time doing this so im going to give it a go.Ok, im 16 years old and i have a great life. My love life is my question. you see theres this guy that likes me and i mean REALLY likes me as in marriage likes me. i was so shocked when he told me he liked me. now his a sweet good guy but isnt stable. like he doesnt have a stable job and is always changing jobs. theres another guy to that likes m just as much...this is where it gets really confusing. his educated and sweet and nice etc. im confused and i really do not know what to do. i mean ive hurt a lot of guys in my life and im sick of it...i dont want to hurt anymore. i dont want to always be the "bad guy", it hurts me to know that ive hurt someone else once again.
ANSWER: hey sarah,
it's great that you have such a good heart and don't want to be the one who causes pain to others.
unfortunately sweeties, getting hurt is part of growing up and part of falling in love. you can't control your feelings and you most definitely can't control what other people feel for you.
the best thing you can do is be level-headed and it sounds like to me you already are. you are only 16 and boys will continue to line up for you i guarantee it. marriage is a wonderful concept but being with someone for life requires more than just being in love. like you said, this guy isn't stable in his life and in the long run, being with someone who is stable is part of what makes a marriage work. don't let his talk of getting married influence you or guilt you into having feelings for him when you clearly don't. it sounds like all this talk is confusing you more than anything else.
secondly, if you aren't committed to either of these guys, you have no obligation to them. as long as you don't purposely lead anyone on no one can fault you for not choosing which guy you want to be with. you're entitled to get to know them both and have them get to know you. take your time and figure out which one you want and which one is worthy of you. since you've been hurt before, if these guys really care about you, they should be willing to wait until you're ready to give your heart again.
and don't punish yourself for hurting someone by not returning their feelings. it's not your fault when you love one person and don't love the other okay?
good luck!
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QUESTION: hello! thanks for your reply, i really appreciated it but the thing is the guy thats stable is overseas and my parents know him and his family really well! the hard thing is were going overseas in september and im hell scared. i really dont know what to do...and the other guy is in sydney and we also know him really well and it just seems to me that ive given up on love. im starting to hate it..i dont know why...i no u cant choose who you love, but i fall for guys really quickly and im really scared i might fall for the wrong one
Answer hey sarah,
from the way you sound, it looks like you're not ready to fall for EITHER one.
so please, don't push yourself to choose when you clearly need some time to grow as a person before you make such a big committment.
distance between you and someone you love is hard but trust me - if it's the right person, it's worth it in the end. you can put distance as a factor when you think about how to make a long term relationship work. but in terms of choosing which guy to fall for, i don't think you can actually choose who to have feelings for. and if you put distance as one of your deciding factors it will mostly be your head working out which is more practical rather than who you really want to be with.
does that make sense?
remember, don't rush anything. if either of these boys are worth it and see how worth it you are, they won't rush you and will understand that you can't give them anything more than what you already have right now.
and it's okay to be scared. that won't go away overnight but you can learn to deal with it if you give yourself some time and these boys find ways of proving themselves to you.
