AboutSuzi Zimmerman Expertise I am a teacher and I write books on teen dating, self-esteem, and values. I can answer questions on making healthy choices, self-improvement, liking yourself, relationships and friendships, goal-setting, values, and how to handle making difficult choices.
Experience Today 1 in 5 sexually active people has HPV (linked to cancer and genital warts) and 1 in 4 has Herpes. 90% of girls who do NOT use condoms become pregnant each year, and AIDS cases are on the rise. Those who do not have sex will not have to deal with these issues, nor will 99% of those who use condoms correctly and consistently. In short, abstain from sex or use condoms - and use them correctly.
Parents of adolescent and teen girls should research Gardasil, a vaccine against many forms of HPV. You may not think your daughter will be sexually active, but this will also offer her certain health protection in the event of rape - or should she become sexually active.
Question I may have asked you before, sorry if I did.
This girl is all I can think about. I could not sleep last night without the help of 4 benadryl and a lot of dairy. Then I feel asleep and dreamt about her leaving some place far away and never coming back. Hear is a short summary of my story:
My junior year of high school I first saw her. She shocked me. This freshman girl was the cutest girl I've ever seen. Most of my friends didn't see anything special about her. I've never seen a girl like this, no one looks like her, she's truly unique, and she had a very simple look. She spent most of her time by herself at the bleachers or at the library. She seemed pretty shy. I could never gather the courage to talk to her. Plus I heard from some of my friends that she was moving to the east coast that summer, so I figured it was best to not get attached. So she left, and wasn't back at the beginning of the year. I was disappointed, but I rationalized and told myself "there will be others". I moved on.
However, the next semester my senior(approximately 6 months later year she came back. Now, I'm a pretty scientific person, but this seemed like fate. She would always stare at me in the hallway as she passed by, and she would give me other I.O.I.'s. This made me fall for her, this feeling of renewed hope.
By this time I was a more experienced, confident, and, for lack of a better word, cooler person. Towards the end of the year, when I was sure that she didn't have a boyfriend, I finally talked to her. She was the sweetest person I've ever talked to, and she even asked me for my number first.
So I graduated, but I had her number. I went to grad trips and parties for a while( and I texted her from time to time and talked for a couple hours, sometimes she would text me first). After I was done with grad parties and trips we got to hang out at concert, on the way home I rested my head on her shoulder as she rested her's on my head. She smiled. It would have been perfect but I didn't kiss her. We hung out two times afterward, once with her friends( they go to a different school. I haven't seen her in over two weeks.
She texts me every time she has an exciting adventurous day, as do I, and we talk for hours. But recently the conversations have gone stale, and the response time has gotten longer and the responses no longer have any enthusiasm. And I'm starting to think that she's into someone else(last time I thought that I couldn't eat or sleep for a week). So I spend my nights next to my phone waiting, fearing that she has gotten bored with me. She's all I can think about.
All I want to do is hold her, my sex drive is nonexistent as well as my appetite. I've tried everything and nothing can cheer me up. I've had a headache all day but I've barely noticed it because I'm thinking about her so much. I hope she's not after someone else. I may be rambling, sorry, but it's driving me crazy.
Answer Yours is a common story - common in that it involves the LEAST personal and LEAST romantic form of human contact: texting. Texting is a modern marvel. It allows two people to plop quick, easy messages down in front of a friend without the inconvenience of small talk. It's also a nuisance. It tends to be so impersonal and so cold that it can easily be confused with what you are describing, some sort of distance or lack of interest.
You have allowed yourself to mistaken texting for romance. Stop. If she doesn't return the text quickly, she's not interested? False. She's busy. If she sounds stale, she's bored with you? False. She's distracted or not feeling well or (again) busy. If she's unenthusiastic, she's seeing someone else? False. She's bored with texting and wishes you would pick up the phone and call her or come see her. If she says, "Drew, I'm not interested in you anymore." THEN she's not interested, but until that point, stay cool.
Have you shared with her all the things you told me about her? Does she know you've been crushing on her for years? Does she know you think she's pretty and sweet? And why has it been two weeks? And what's this "sex drive?" Are you sexually active with someone other than her (it doesn't sound like the two of you are kissing, much less engaging in sex, so don't think I'm endorsing that yet, either)? If so, has she somehow become aware of this?
Women need warmth which comes from eye contact, heads laying on a lover's shoulder, fingertips touching, laughter, and thousands of other things than texting cannot convey (LOL doesn't count). My suggestion is to surprise her with a picnic in the park and take your camera. Spend the time taking pictures of each other and saying sweet things to her like, "See those eyes? Those eyes are the sweetest eyes on the planet!" Pictures are a great way to communicate these days, and they preserve the moment in a technological way that almost gives romance a huge boost. And picnics are the perfect way to make up for time the two of you may have lost in the past couple of weeks. They are very relaxed and have an amazingly low stress factor!
In a nutshell, don't allow texting to become your standard for communicating with anyone romantic. Find a way to spend time together that balances with your other life interests and duties. Two weeks away is too long UNLESS there are extenuating circumstances.
