Expert: David - 9/21/2009

Question
Hi, I'm Ryan. I'm 16. My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost a month and a half now. She's the first relationship i've been in that's actually been going really good (I've been in several other relationships, but they didn't go so well :/) anyway, lately we've been really touchy-feely and stuff. We both like it, but today, she stripped down to her bra and underwear and layed on top of me (i had all my clothes on). We've both decided that we're not going to have sex yet, so that's not the problem I have. the problem is, when she did what she did, i got EXTREMELY nervous and i had no idea what to do. in fact, i got so nervous that i didn't even get turned on. i always get turned on when we mess around but since she was almost naked this time, i was waaaaaay to nervous about everything to get turned on. I feel like something's wrong with me because I have no idea what to do and things were just weird. we haven't made out yet either, and neither of us have ever made out before, period. so, we're both too nervous to initiate things most of the time.

anyway, the point of me asking this question is because i want to know how to get over the nervousness so we can just start doing stuff without it being awkward.

thanks for your help :)

Answer
Ryan,
I'm just gonna start off by saying it is perfectly norma to be nervous going into your first relationship, I can tell you I was scared out of my mind.  Sometimes your mind likes to play tricks on you and kind of mess with you at bad times.  The reason you weren't getting aroused when your gf was laying on top of you with barely any clothes on, this may sound weird, was because you were thinking about it.  When you get nervous your body goes into a state where it cannot get aroused, at least very easily.  You're really going to need to just take things slow with her.  Just at some point give her a little kiss.  You know she wants it and it may be daunting, but it will be worth it in the end.

If you need any more help I would be happy to assist.

Best,
David