Teen Dating Issues/Getting to third base
Hi Sandi! My boyfriend and I are both 15 (sophomores in high school) and we’ve been dating for over 4 months. Last time we hung out, he started to put his hand down my pants, but I stopped him. He’s really good about respecting my limits. But It’s not that I didn’t want him to finger me, it’s more that I was really nervous. What am I supposed to do during it? We tend to only make out for short periods of time so I doubt I could make out with him the whole time. And afterwards is it going to be really awkward? I feel like he’s going to want to wash his hands or something lol and I feel like I’m going to be really awkward just like sitting there. Also, I want to be able to pleasure him too, but blowjobs make me uncomfortable for a number of reasons. The whole idea of my mouth on his… , plus I have braces, and would he want to kiss me after that? So anyways my solution I decided could be a handjob. But do guys even like handjobs? Would he rather I give him a blowjob? But back to handjobs, I have the basic idea of how to do it, and he’s not going to expect me to be an expert, but I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to use lotion. So do I just like pull it out of my pocket and start putting it on my hands…like how do you do that? And the whole ejaculating part, am I supposed to like clean it up? I feel like that would be so awkward. I know communication is key, and we do talk and we’re pretty open, but sexual things really are weird to talk about. If we talk about things beforehand I feel obligated to do them the next time I see him rather than when it feels right, and if we talk about them at the time, it kind of ruins the moment…
Thanks so much! -Bri
hey bri...great questions! :)
your right, communication is key. i dont think talking about it ahead of time obligates you to "do it" next time. i would talk to him about and just let him know what you would like to do and how its going to happen. when the time is right then you will feel more comfortable with it.
maybe you could talk about the "clean up" issue with him too. why not carry around some Kleenex or some wipes in your purse? that way when your done the cleanup is easy. nothing wrong with pulling out a small package of wipes and saying "here you go, this is for your hands" :)
when he is fingering you, just do what feels natural. if you like it and it feels good then let him know. talking is ok during it. you can take your hand and even help him finger you too. telling him what feels good and doesnt is ok. touching him or even giving him a handjob while he is fingering you is always good too! ;)
from my experience, a guy always wants a blowjob over a handjob..lol. but do what you feel most comfortable doing. you could always start with a blowjob just to get things wet and going and then just finish him off with a handjob. or you could use some saliva in your hands to get things wet.
hope this all helps, please write me back and let me know how things go!