Teen Dating Issues/Boyfriend


Hello, I have an issue....ya see me and my boyfriend have been dating for 7 months and we have not had sex (that's not the problem) but we do thing (dry humping.) -awkward silence- My boyfriend is upset because, lately he can't seem to turn me on...but he got upset when we were watching Fast and The Furious 1 with Vin Diesel and the fact that Vin Diesel turns me on. I don't know what to do, it's not like I can control when my body gets excited. My boyfriend knew that I'm attracted to Vin yet he insisted that we still watch the movie. (I love the movie though)I didn't want to watch it with him though because I knew that would happen. (Him getting pissed off with the fact that Vin turns me on and my boyfriend can't seem to lately) What do I do? Also, I'm afraid that when me and my boyfriend have sex that I won't be thinking about him because, when ever we start doing anything my brain forgets that it's my boyfriend I'm doing things with. I really do love him, he's always there for me no matter what! So it's rather upsetting for me to be thinking of other men (all of them are famous except for one) while me and him are doing things....ya know? So what should I do? Is there anything I can do?

Cayla, first, it is normal for both guys and girls to fantasize about attractive, famous people.  What is NOT normal is to do it while you are with your guy in a romantic setting.  THAT is simply a form of mental cheating.  If your boyfriend cannot turn you on and if you are afraid of fantasizing about some other guy when you are with him, they why are you together?  Relationships aren't built on that.  

You are right that you can't control when you get excited, but what you can control is what you share with others.  It sounds a bit like you were trying to incite your boyfriend.  So it's kind of natural that he reacted as he did.  But it sounds like the two of you won't let it go.  

You really love him and he's always there for you no matter what?  Then train your mind to stay on him and ONLY him with you are intimate, even if it's with clothes on.  And stop sharing every little fantasy with him.  They are called fantasies because they are in your head.  Once they make that treacherous journey out of your mouth, you can't put them back.  And the doubt those words create cause situations like this one.  So, you've learned your lesson, so don't keep doing it.

Dating is a learning experience.  Don't take past dating mistakes into future relationships.  


Teen Dating Issues

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Suzi Zimmerman


I am a teacher and I write books on teen dating, self-esteem, and values. I can answer questions on making healthy choices, self-improvement, liking yourself, relationships and friendships, goal-setting, values, and how to handle making difficult choices.


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