Teen Dating Issues/two guys

Advertisement


Question
Hi, I'm a 19 year old girl from India. I am in a loving relationship with a guy in my college since a year.There's this guy who's my best friend, he lives in my home town. I live in a hostel in a different city. We were already very close, and somehow, a few months ago, we fell in love. I now found myself in love with two guys. And there was a time when me and my boyfriend went through a rough patch, and we broke up. But things got sorted out and we were happy again. Both the guys knew about my situation, and I never lied to anyone. My boyfriend understood me in time and supported as much as he could. My best friend, however, was really hurt when I patched up again. He thought I would just be with him in a long distance relationship. I can't do that, as I'm happy with my boyfriend here. I still love my best friend but I told him we had to distance ourselves and just be friends, because he would just be hurt being with me, and I can't give him what he wants. He agreed at first, but he told me he was hurt now, after almost a month of all that happened. I feel like a terrible person, and don't want to lose my best friend, he is a wonderful guy. I have no idea what to do. Is it so bad to fall in love with two persons? After all, I never faked anything. Please help.

Answer
Hey Avada,

Thanks for writing in and dropping a word. It takes a lot to open up about issues in the back of the mind and when its related to our heart, it takes guts to pen down left alone talk with someone about the same. I appreciate your gesture in pouring your heart felt emotions and seeking a helping hand for the same. Kudos to you !!!

Well, I can very well understand the problem you facing and can step in your shoes to understand the same. You need to understand that there is a very thin line between love and friendship and once that's crossed, there is no return back. Friends are people who give us very much comfort zone and understand us to the fullest, they know us from ages and have always stood by us, but when it comes to relationship, you don't just need comfort zone, you need that special feel of being with someone, who can make you feel the best and for whom you end up doing things, which you never did for anyone. Relationship is always done with person, who lets you be yourself and never mould you and always respect your views and priorities and brings the best out of you. No harm in being love with two, but you need to understand you can't be selfish and play with two, as sooner or later things would open up and you would find your life in mess and you torn between two people, this way you would end up hurting two people. Some relationships are best to let go, if people involved can't understand. A true partner or friend would always understand her lover or friend and would stand by her always, if anyone can't, you know the answer clearly. Just sit back, recall all events and see where you wanna go and with whom you want to stand by.

Just go out and give your best and  things would fall in place...

All the best !!

Cheers,
Relationship Counsellor
Bringing smiles on the faces on the way .....

P.S- For more professional help around your subject, you can drop a word at, (relationships.counsellor@gmail.com)

Teen Dating Issues

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


Relationship Counsellor

Expertise

I am quite experienced and matured enough to handle questions related to following topics: 1) Love- Friendship 2) Issues in all kinds of relationships. 3) making a relationship work. 4) Effective tips to sustain a relationship. 5) Sex related queries. Well as of now haven't come across any such questions, which would offend me or I lack expertise in, but am a straight forward person and doesn't hold my wordings back. I don't mind being honest in case I lack knowledge about particular aspect and quite flexible to accept genuine views of others or seek other professionals for my case studies, to help the clients out.

Experience

Well I have been doing online counseling through my own blog ( http://world-of-relationships.blogspot.in/) for past two years. I have got good response throughout, which has motivated me in going ahead and helping people in their relationship issues and bring a smile back on people's face. I don't say that am a professional in this area, but well sufficient enough to contribute in the aspect of Modern Day Relationships.

Education/Credentials
I have been an IT professional throughout my work experience of 8+ years associated with IT MNC's like IBM, Infosys Technologies to name few. I have conducted effective counseling sessions for different corporates I have worked with in my private capacity and contributed effectively to employees striking quite a balance in work and personal life.

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.