You are here:

Teen Dating Issues/What's my ex doing here?


We went out for two months, broke up around three months ago, and he's started acting a bit odd. He's always been very nice to me, even after he broke up with me but always from a distance. Lately though he's been a lot closer.
A few mornings ago one of my friends announced loudly where he could hear, "You know I just realized you and *insert name here* were a really good couple!"
Nearly two minutes later I got a smiley face from a random number. It wasn't until I asked who it was from that I realized it was his number and I had deleted his space in my contact list. He claimed to have been meaning to send it to someone else, but we wound up talking from then all the way until eleven o'clock that night.
Last night there was a homecoming dance and through lots of drama, and me winding up single I was debating whether or not to go to the dance alone, or to stay at home and mope. The last thing I told him was I wasn't coming. I later changed my mind. I waved to him once I got to the dance but I didn't go to him. Later towards the end of the dance I was sitting down with an empty chair next to me. He came over and sat down, ask me if I was okay after what happened, and spent the rest of the dance with me. He was really shy, and the last dance we went to when we were together he wouldn't dance at all. But then the last song they played he told me he owed me a dance and me, him, and another one of friends were all dancing like idiots. We've been texting for a few hours today and he's been complimenting me, and bringing up stuff from when we were together. What do you think he wants?

Lydia, the only way to find out what he wants is to ask him.  Or, you can just continue to hang in there and see where it goes.  

The important thing is what do YOU want?  If you want something out of this, then make it happen.  

Some of what you describe in your letter sounds a bit like "game playing."  Don't go there.  If a guy sends you a smile and then says, "Oh, it was meant for someone else," then THAT sounds like a game.  Do YOU think it was meant for someone else?  Or is he just too immature to admit he likes you?  I don't like games.  They make it look like children playing at grown up games.  Dating is a grown up activity, so if you and he are going to be grown ups, then BE grown ups.  That means no messing around with "Oops, that was meant for someone else."  If that was the case, what business did he have chatting it up with you for hours?  The boys needs to get his business straight.  He needs to figure out which smiley faces go to which girls - OR he just needs to use words and tell it like it is!

Tell him that if he likes you, he needs to be a man and state his intentions.  Otherwise, he needs to cut you off so you can spend your time with someone who will give you the answers you deserve.

Best to you!


Teen Dating Issues

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Suzi Zimmerman


I am a teacher and I write books on teen dating, self-esteem, and values. I can answer questions on making healthy choices, self-improvement, liking yourself, relationships and friendships, goal-setting, values, and how to handle making difficult choices.


Today 1 in 5 sexually active people has HPV (linked to cancer and genital warts) and 1 in 4 has Herpes. 90% of girls who do NOT use condoms become pregnant each year, and AIDS cases are on the rise. Those who do not have sex will not have to deal with these issues, nor will 99% of those who use condoms correctly and consistently. In short, abstain from sex or use condoms - and use them correctly. Parents of adolescent and teen girls should research Gardasil, a vaccine against many forms of HPV. You may not think your daughter will be sexually active, but this will also offer her certain health protection in the event of rape - or should she become sexually active.

©2017 All rights reserved.