Teen Dating Issues/Money vs GF


My Girlfriend, Stephanie 23, and I, Evan 23 have been dating for almost 5 years. My Girlfriend wants to take a road trip with her girls and their kids to go see her friend, Lacie 23, in Louisiana with our 2 year old, Madison, 1147 miles away. Okay so there is the background, now the issue. She wants to take my car! We are both on the insurance, however, I am worried for several reasons. One, if she gets into a car wreck or has a speeding ticket it could dangerously increase my premiums, I called they would triple. I know that the risk of those things is the same whether she goes 10 feet or a 1,000 miles, but the chance seems higher. Two, a hero complex, if the car were to break down I would not be able to help her, I work on the cars now and if she is in Texas I will not be able to do anything. Lastly, I feel possesive about the vehicle. She has her own car, but I know it won't make the trip and her girlfriends don't have vehicles capible either. We have looked into renting a car, but it is a vacation killer $$$$ wise. Over $500 for the week, not including the insurance and surcharges for them being under 25. My question is as follows, should I let them take my car to go on a road trip? I feel bad because I know they can't afford it another way, but my responsibilites are to Madison and if my insurance premiums are to triple or they get in a horrific accident it will take so much money out of the household that several cuts are going to have to be made, like contibutions to Madison's college fund, or our saving, etc. I don't know if I am being controlling or hedging my bets. I just don't want on of the "what-ifs" to happen.

My initial response: A relationship is about trust and support.  If you don't trust her enough to drive your car, why are you with her? And if you really worry about her needing you, then either allow her to use the better car or convince her it's too risky.

Check your numbers with another agent.  First, a ticket goes on HER record, not the car's. Secondly, laws regulate how much risk can be added into someone's policy, and tripling sounds steep.

My economical response:  She and her friends need to figure this out.  Have them check into trip insurance.  They should all SHARE in the responsibility if they are all going to enjoy the benefits.

Also, consider having her leave Madison.  A trip like that is hard on a little guy.  Other options: bus, cheap flight?  Have Lacie come to them?

When you are a parent, you don't always get to have the same freedoms as a single woman.  Maybe this trip wasn't meant to be?

Good luck!


Teen Dating Issues

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Suzi Zimmerman


I am a teacher and I write books on teen dating, self-esteem, and values. I can answer questions on making healthy choices, self-improvement, liking yourself, relationships and friendships, goal-setting, values, and how to handle making difficult choices.


Today 1 in 5 sexually active people has HPV (linked to cancer and genital warts) and 1 in 4 has Herpes. 90% of girls who do NOT use condoms become pregnant each year, and AIDS cases are on the rise. Those who do not have sex will not have to deal with these issues, nor will 99% of those who use condoms correctly and consistently. In short, abstain from sex or use condoms - and use them correctly. Parents of adolescent and teen girls should research Gardasil, a vaccine against many forms of HPV. You may not think your daughter will be sexually active, but this will also offer her certain health protection in the event of rape - or should she become sexually active.

©2017 About.com. All rights reserved.

[an error occurred while processing this directive]