Teen Dating Issues/I need your opinion
My name is Kevin. This is going to be a long story so I hope you can find the time to help me. I'm 18 years old and I'm from Belgium. So, 2 years ago I started a relationship with a girl , before that I already was really close with her for about half a year. It turned out it didn't work for her, we were fighting all the time and after 7 months , we broke up . Only 2 weeks later she had someone else. I was so very much in love with her , and it broke my heart to let her go . I got alot of support from my friends and parents , but I never really got over it . I even got close with another girl but it didn't work out because it was not the same. After a few months we started talking again , about me and her , how it used to be . That we could talk and share things with eachother , that we trusted eachother. This made me happy at the time but because she was still in love with that other guy , it was not enough for me. After a few of these moments with breaks of a few weeks when she didn't want to talk because her boyfriend didn't allow it , we were like best friends again , even though her bf didn't like it. Then suddenly we had a fight and she told me I had to leave her alone because her bf was more important . I told her that friendship is always more important but she didn't listen. A week ago , her bf broke up with her , I got the courage to ask her why and she told me everything . I was finally happy again , I was able to talk to her without her bf standing in between us , and after a few days she told me that if she ever got back together with the guy she would tell him that now I was also a part of her life , as her friend. And today she went to talk with the guy and they are getting back together. Easy at first she told me. Now my problem is that this guy is no good for her , he doesn't understand what love is and doesn't care about her like she does about him , he just does not deserve her. I just hate myself for having screwed it up with her 2 years ago , back then I was just the same as her bf . I like to believe that I have grown up now and that I understand the concept of love. And actually caring about someone no matter what. I was there for her whenever she needed me for 2 years. For 2 years I only cared for her , and I to this day I still hate myself for letting this happen. She told me that she is still serious about staying close friends with me because she needs me to talk , because I am the only person that truely understands her. How come this guy means so much more to her? I know she also cares about me because she brought up the fact that if me and her had been together a bit later that we might have been together still. She noticed something is wrong with me right now but I haven't told her. Should I speak the truth , and tell her how much I care about her still, even after 2 years? Or should I wait and just be friends with her while her bf keeps hurting her? Thats what I had to share , and sorry for my bad spelling but here in belgium we don't really speak english :/ thanks in advance , I hope you respond soon!
hey kevin. i understand how you feel. you are in a tuff spot. i think being open with her is a good idea. you two sound close so i think she would appreciate you telling her how you feel. now..what you need to decide is do you want to continue to try and be friends with her even though you have feelings for her or stop talking to her and move on.
here is what i think. i think you should continue to talk to her as friends and start dating other people. doesnt have to be serious. it can just be one date. but start going out. dont worry about finding the "right" person. just have fun and go on some dates. eventually someone will come along that you like. and as you go out on these dates you should talk to your friend about how the dates went. let her know what happened and how the date went.
good luck and please let me know how it goes