Teen Dating Issues/Weird 'Friend'
First thing I want to say is that I think it's really cool that you are willing to help teens with their problems. Really, thank you for that.
Second thing is that I'm from The Netherlands, and although I get kind of high grades for English, well, some things in vocabulairy or in grammer I haven't quite figured out yet but I hope you can make something of what I'm typing. Sit back and relax, because it is kind of a long story.
The thing is, I know this guy for quite some time now... He thinks.. Well, more like I think he is sort of a friend and he claims that he is one, but he is ridiculously rude to me. He doesn't say hi or goodbye to me when he sees me, he doesnt even aknowledge my excistence at school, he just walks right past me when we pass eachother in the hallway, without even fucking looking at me. In class, when he sits alone, I try to join him... But instead of being polite and saying something like: Uhm, I dont really want to be in your presense... He just grabs his stuff as soon as I sit down and moves to another fucking table on the other side of the fucking classroom!
And back home he talks to me on facebook and acts like nothing happened, like its all ok and cool when he acted like an asshole towards me.(example: Every time I use the term GODDAMNIT because I hurt myself or anything, he's bitching at me and accusing me for being Blasphemic or something, because he's a Christian). On facebook he's telling me all the problems he has (had) with his ex girlfriend from 3 fucking years ago and everthing bad that he has ever encountered in his life, just spilling the beans to me, expecting me to solve it all out for him like I'm some sort of psychiatrist or something, and if I say that I can't help him, he gets all pissed off at me! Like... >.> Well, he doesn't talk to me but when he does most of the time he's just being fucking depressing and it's driving me crazy.
I started to help him, BECAUSE of all what he encountered in his life. I WANTED to help him with his problems. He is a good guy, I wanted him to like me and I wanted to give him the feeling that he can trust me and that I'm there for him, especially because other people have left him.
BUT JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. He's strange guy, OK, I get that. Hell, all he does is weird things like this. I can get past that. But I CANT if I'm the only fucking girl he doesn't say Hi to, and whom he doesn't talk to at all without bitching and complaining. On one hand I just want to be there for him. Helping out in all the way I can. But on the other hand I'm like, Dude, this isn't weird-YOUR-kind-of-behavior anymore, this is some real ASSHOLE-behavior.
I just don't know what to do with that guy anymore. Nope, I really don't.
Well so here I am, not wanting to lose him, But also not wanting to serve as some sort of an asswhipe-free-24/7-psychiatrist...
I hope you can help me out. Tell me what to do or what to think because I've had it up to here with him.
Thanks Austin :)
Hey Sumerijah! Thanks for the question, love your name by the way!
and your very welcome it's what I'm here for :) and don't worry your English is great, understood everything perfectly!
So first off, you help this guy with his problems online, but in person he doesn't treat you as a friend? well If you ask me that is very rude! But you do get people that are like that, and in my experience, if you're there for those people that actually really need somebody there, they acknowledge that from inside, even if they don't show it outwardly, because they are thankful that somebody is there for them, but maybe this guy hasn't quite realised how much you try to be there for him, he doesn't seem to appreciate that at school, because that is no way to treat somebody who must put all that time and care into them, no wonder your extremely frustrated about it!
However there could actually be some underlying reasons for this, such as he might feel ashamed of his problems, so at school tries to distance himself from you, who knows these problems, he could feel scared that he'll look weak and not strong..also you said that everyone has left him..it might sound odd but this could be the reason why he seems to be cutting himself off from getting close to you in person? Maybe he just doesn't want another person to leave him? So talking online means he doesn't have to interact face to face? The thing about people is they are so very complex and usually there's always reasons that you wouldn't even imagine there to be for unusual behaviour
But the best way to find these reasons out is to just ask him, it might be a good idea to confront him about why he is acting the way he is, and to tell him how you feel about it, because it really isn't right to treat you the way he's treating you, and I think he needs to know that..he can't treat somebody that actually cares for him the way he does, but also while you're doing this maybe reassure him that you want to help him and want to be his friend, that way he'll still feel comfortable
I really hoped this helped! If you have any more questions, need any more advice or need anything that I said clarified be sure to hit me up with a follow up! It's just what I'm here for :)