Teen Dating Issues/What should I do?
QUESTION: Well I ran into a women that trained the staff at a restaurant I used to work at when I was 16(I'm 18 now). We ended up chatting a bit over a few cigarettes and she asked me if I was still with my girlfriend. I said no that I had broken up with her a few months back. I had mentioned to her that we were doing the whole ring club thing (sex after marriage) she then asked me if I was still a virgin. I chuckled and said "yeah". She then asked me if I wanted to change that? I said "sure" because I thought she was joking but she was serious, she then gave me her number and said for me to call her then kissed me on the cheek goodbye. Now I don't know what to do. I still have a huge crush on her and she's 25, with an amazing face and body. And while I've wanted to wait it's getting extremely hard knowing she's just a phone call away. What should I do??
ANSWER: Hi Cole! Thanks for your question!
I can see why your confused on what to do! I think it all depends on how much you like this girl and what you actually want, from what you've told me, it kind of suggests that maybe she just wants a bit of fun, but that may not be true, but if it is, my only worry is that you might end up getting hurt in the end
she definitely seems into you, and you seem into her, the only thing I'd say is would you want to lose your virginity this way? because losing it to somebody who you just had a casual thing with may make you regret it afterwards, especially if in the past you have chosen to wait until marriage, and to throw all that away just for somebody who may not want to go further afterwards may leave you feeling hurt
If you have feelings for this girl, and want something other then sex then maybe you should tell her this? This will let you know what she wants too, and if she is just there for the physical part and your not, then you would have made a lucky escape..or meet up to get to know each other better, because the last thing you'd want is to lose your virginity to someone who isn't in it for the same reason you are, because that will just result in you feeling very hurt in the end,
The thing with losing your virginity is that it does always have emotion in, even if it's just casual or a one night stand, and depending you as a person, and what you want and if you're ready or not, it could leave you feeling quite bad emotionally, but the annoying part is we tend to rush into it and think it's not really a big deal because the desire part ends up taking over(which sometimes is inevitable!# and it does seem to me that you have waited in the past because maybe you feel sex should be something special? If this is the case then I think you should get to know this girl better and maybe tell her how you feel? #That's if you don't just want a casual thing) and if she's just there for the sex and nothing more and if that isn't want you want then like I said before you won't get hurt,
just don't let desire take over too much, think about what you're going to do carefully and If it's what you really want,if you still have questions or need anything clarifying please be sure to hit me up with a follow up! It's just what I'm here for! :)
hope this helped
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Well I do have a follow up question. IF I do decied to go thru with it, what can I expect? Any pointers? How can I calm my nerves? Kind of awkward set of questions but I'm more or less considering going thru with it...
Something that might help calm your nerves is to know that she is probably feeling just as nervous too so it's not just you, use this as something to help you calm down, that she's not going to judge you or anything like that because it's normally hard for anyone to show themselves to someone else as everyone has insecurities with themselves, and your both only human so you might both be feeling like that
try not to think you're going to 'make mistakes' or anything like that, just be yourself and enjoy it, because that will be the best kind that will help you to both enjoy yourselves, play by the moment, do what seems natural and comfortable to you and you'll be fine!
one thing I will say is make sure she is stimulated enough (it talks about this in the first link I've given)
Check these links out they might be useful to you!
Hope this helped!
Good luck with everything I'm sure it will be fine! Any more questions or advice you would like on your decision then feel free to follow up :)