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Teen Dating Issues/Communication Problems

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Question
Hi Sandi,

My name's Layla and I'm 18 and I've literally just started going out with this guy for about 4 weeks or so and we've been seeing each other quite frequently. Although I wasn't too sure how I felt initially, I think I genuinely really like him and he's a really decent guy. The only problem is conversation, we've been out on a few dates and somehow it's been a real struggle getting the conversation going. I've tried to ask questions about him (without appearing to grill him) about his family his hobbies etc and although there is some common ground here and there it all seems to dry up a bit! Every now and again he'll ask me something but often enough I think he just prefers the silence. The interesting thing is the silence is in no way awkward but comfortable and although I see this as a good thing, I can't help but think we should be filling it!
Normally if the conversation wasn't going anywhere I'd put it down as a lost cause but, he makes me feel so at ease and is so lovely to me I can't help but like him. We have kissed and made out but it is steadily becoming more serious but he doesn't want to push me in anyway to go further than I want to. Although I do want to have sex with him I can't help but feel theres something nagging away telling me not to. I'm just so confused! He's made it obvious he wants a relationship with me but I don't know whether or not its me or just simply a relationship of any sort that he's wanting. I just feel so confused about it, I did try to speak to him and he was really understanding and explained it was probably because we don't know each other that well and we need to give it time. (Something I agree with, but nothing I've had to encounter in the past)
I guess I just want some helpful advice as to where to go from here, he makes me feel so happy but it's as if something is holding him back and I have no idea what to do about it!

Thanks for your help!
Layla
xxx

Answer
Hi Layla,

It could be that he is just very reserved and doesn't like to open up to people. Or maybe he is a little shy. Either way I think its important to have that open dialog with him, which it sounds like you do. A month seems like a decent amount of time though that he should be letting you in and talking to you about himself. Does he ask you any questions or seem like he wants to get to know you better?

I would maybe give it some more time and maybe have another conversations with him about this. Tell him that you like him and want to move the relationship further but he needs to open up some more. I wouldnt have sex until you are really sure about him too. :)

Good luck and please write me back if you want to talk more

sandi

Teen Dating Issues

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Sandi

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I can answer most types of question dealing with teens and preteens. I can give advice on dating, love, sex, friendships, same sex relationships. I am experienced at most preteen & teen subjects and have given advice to many people before. Who better to give advice to teens as being one myself?

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I'm a teen girl and have been in many relationships, both with guys and girls. I've been in many different situations and can give you great advice.

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