Teen Dating Issues/Advice


My name is Clara. I'm 14 and a freshman.

There's this guy who I have known since last year. He is my age and in my grade. We have become great friends. He eats at my lunch table and we talk every day. Most of our talk consists of regular friend talk, although occasionally it steers towards his love life. Earlier this year, he had a girlfriend, but he's broken up with her.

A little about him and me: He's cute and funny, and most of all smart, like me. We are in the same math (Algebra II) and English class. We sit next to each other in English and sometimes we say the exact same thing at the exact same time, because our thought processes are very similar. I have never had a boyfriend and don't know much about how to date/flirt or anything like that.

I really, really like him, but he's never given me any hints as to whether or not he likes me back. I want desperately to be more than friends, and I'm not so brave as to be able to talk to him and risk our friendship. I don't have much contact with him outside of school.

What can I do? Help!

Clara, I'd say work on the friendship for now.  If he's had a girlfriend, then he is definitely interested in girls (some 14 year old boys are not, yet).  So, show him via your friendship that you share his values and would make a good girlfriend.  

Practice flirting in a small, sophisticated way.  Hold his gaze a little longer than is comfortable.  Smile with your eyes, use his name in sentences when you speak to him, and be a good listener.  These are all ways boys like girls to act.  They may respond to the over-the-top flirting, but if they aren't interested romantically, it can also be a big turn-off.  But if they aren't interested, subtle flirting can subliminally create an interest, so be subtle.

Research flirting and take a few notes.  Notice who the boys stare at, and study how those girls act.  Don't imitate them, but learn from them.  You have to be yourself, but smart girls who are aware of their bodies and their features also need to know how to use them to send romance signals. Some people will call my ideas BS, but those same people are either in denial or have consistently failed at flirting and would rather call it BS than to admit failure.  SO, that said, teach yourself to flirt, but keep it subtle.  And when you master this power, only use it for good, never evil.  :o)

Take care!!  And good luck!


Teen Dating Issues

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Suzi Zimmerman


I am a teacher and I write books on teen dating, self-esteem, and values. I can answer questions on making healthy choices, self-improvement, liking yourself, relationships and friendships, goal-setting, values, and how to handle making difficult choices.


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