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Teen Dating Issues/i need adivce on this girl i like.

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So her name is Karrissa and she is a sophomore in my 4th period class while I'm a junior. To sum it up i i asked for her number before spring break and she gave it to me but i couldn't understand it. people said that she had given me a wrong number on purpose but when asked her the day we came back from the break and she said it was the right number and i told her one of the numbers was a sideways five and she looked at me crooked so i told er to give it to me again and she did so willingly. today i bought her some snacks from the concession stand and i asked a girl if it was all right to give it to her early in the process and she said "yeah because girls like surprises". So i saw her in 4th period and i wanted to motion her to come over but i was so nervous that i just waited until the class was over. we also did project presentations and when it was my turn to go it got boring and long. Karrissa was attentive and she stayed awake and she glanced at me a few times also. after class i went to her locker and she and a friend was there. he friend noticed me first and she smiled at me and Karrissa turned and smiled also. i told her i had snacks for her and i gave it to her and she said "Thank you" while smiling. i asked her friend if she had a boyfriend and she said no so i asked if i had a chance so she said she would find out and yesterday her friend told me that she had a bad breakup and is not ready to get into a relationship. so i kind of tried to give her some space that day. today i told her i was sorry i had probably bothered her or annoyed her about asking her friend if she had an interest in me. she said "it's okay" with a smile. Does it seem she has an interest in me or even a little bit? what should i do?

Answer
Next time, instead of asking for her number, ask if you can give her yours.  That way there is no mistaking getting the number right or her intentions. It puts the ball in her court, and if she doesn't call, you know.

And I'll be honest...I don't think it was right to go to her friend.  I don't think girls appreciate guys bringing other people into the equation.  What girls do like is guys who are courageous enough to say, "I'd like to get to know you a little better.  No pressure.  We can just be friends, but can I buy you a cup of coffee after school tomorrow?" (Doesn't have to be coffee; can be pizza, coke, whatever)

And most people like the idea of being friends and seeing where it leads.  No one likes to start at romance and work their way back to friendship, but the friendship thing has to exist.  So just start with being her friend and see where it leads.

I really love the idea of taking her a snack.  That was VERY thoughtful.  Next time, include her friend in the snack-gifting, too.  If you win a girl's friend, you win the girl.  As a matter of fact, compliment the friend sometime.  Keep it non-romantic, like "Great job on that test.  You nailed it!" But with the girl you like, make it more personal: "I like the way you are wearing your hair today!"  Or even better, "I loved that perfume you were wearing yesterday!" Complimenting a girl on something from a day or so ago shows you remember, and it starts building a little history between you.

For now, take it slow and focus on being her friend.  Don't whisper about her to her friends, even if it's nice.  

Take care,

Suzi

Teen Dating Issues

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Suzi Zimmerman

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I am a teacher and I write books on teen dating, self-esteem, and values. I can answer questions on making healthy choices, self-improvement, liking yourself, relationships and friendships, goal-setting, values, and how to handle making difficult choices.

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Today 1 in 5 sexually active people has HPV (linked to cancer and genital warts) and 1 in 4 has Herpes. 90% of girls who do NOT use condoms become pregnant each year, and AIDS cases are on the rise. Those who do not have sex will not have to deal with these issues, nor will 99% of those who use condoms correctly and consistently. In short, abstain from sex or use condoms - and use them correctly. Parents of adolescent and teen girls should research Gardasil, a vaccine against many forms of HPV. You may not think your daughter will be sexually active, but this will also offer her certain health protection in the event of rape - or should she become sexually active.

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