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Teen Dating Issues/i need advice on this girl.


"this girl named Karrissa is a girl i really like her and when i engaged with a girl i like i like to shower them with affection like gift, snacks and whatever i can find. Her friend told me that she had just went through a bad breakup and is not looking for a relationship right now. My teacher told me that is should tone it down and stop the flowers and gifts. others also told me this as well but to still be nice to her but of course i couldn't resist. I had made her a poem rolled in paper tied with a bow and a rose from my grandmother's garden. i gave it to her in my class and she had a normal attitude, not sad but not noticing happy either and she said "thank you". she didn't look surprised to get it but had a small smile we she got it. i think i have a problem in social skills because i get attached to a girl i like very easily. at this point,i think she lost interest in me but i hope she didn't. what should i do now? PLEASE HELP!!"0

Dakota, I agree with your teacher.  The girl is telling you as nicely as she can that she's not interested, at least not now.  The best way to impress her is to show her that you are listening.  This will mean standing up to yourself.  You are attached, so you want to shower her with things.  That "want" cannot be stronger than what you "know."  At this point, you "know" that you need to give her lots of space.  Continue to be kind and friendly, but try to direct your attention to other things for a while.

In the future, she will give you signals.  If those signals are clearly romantic, then you can start small, VERY small, with some of your signs of affection.  The rose from your grandmother's garden was lovely.  Maybe consider JUST the rose or JUST the poem in the future.  Together, they may feel a little overwhelming to a girl who doesn't share your sweet, old-fashioned romanticism.  

For now, though, I hope you will just give her a little space.

I wish you the BEST!


Teen Dating Issues

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Suzi Zimmerman


I am a teacher and I write books on teen dating, self-esteem, and values. I can answer questions on making healthy choices, self-improvement, liking yourself, relationships and friendships, goal-setting, values, and how to handle making difficult choices.


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