Teen Dating Issues/Mom vs. Bf?


Well, I'm a 14 yr old girl who has been liking this sweet smart honest guy named Daniel for 2 months. He is gonna b a sophomore and we go  to  different schools. I went to my friend Britt's tkd tournament and he goes to the same dojo so she kind of introduced us. For me it wasn't love at first sight but he had a magnetic pull that made me want to get to know him. So that was the only time I saw him in person. Spring break came and I haven't had my phone till thn so I txted him for only a week but the conversations were long and sweet. I grew to like him more and more. Thn school was starting to end and I got my phone back and started texting him again. We promised eachother we would go on a date this summer, just the two of us.  I was never sure if he liked me bak or not because we didn't like to b that kind of flirty with eachother  but he knew how I felt until one night I stayed up till 1:00 am (which I practically never do) texting him and he asks me to b his gf. I say yes of course cuz 1. I wanna get to sleep, 2. I really like this guy. Now back to that date. I told my mom the 2nd morning after he asked me to b his gf about the date. My mom is strict when it comes to teen dating but I love her and I know she appreciates it when I tlk to her about things like this but when I tell her "mom, a boy asked me out on a date". See how I don't say anything about me And him being together? Well anyway my mom says no. She's happy that I told her about it rather thn going behind her bak about it and I am happy too but I really want this date to happen cuz I really like this guy. I tell my best gf nana bout it and she offers to help but I'm not really sure if I should follow through either but I didn't tell Daniel about my mom but hes aware of her strictness so I don't want to cancel our goal but I don't want to ruin me and my moms relationship. Can I compromise somehow??

Best thing is to work with your mom, NOT Nana.  Sorry to assume, but that sounds like sneaking, and you don't sound like that kind of person to me.  I really respect your relationship and your honesty when it comes to your mom.  It's a rare and admirable thing, so don't change that.

Explain how you feel to your mom, and explain that others your age would probably sneak, but you don't want to be like those others.  You want to be the kind of girl/daughter she will respect and trust, but at the same time, you feel certain that you've earned her trust, and you are asking her to trust you to go out with this boy.  Suggest a very innocent date, for example volunteering together, a family outing in which you or he are in the presence of the others' parents, or maybe a school-sponsored event in which chaperones are there.  You could also just ask permission to have him over to the house for game night or dinner.  That way your parents feel in control.  That will alleviate their concerns.

I appreciate you sharing your question with me.  By the way, like Britt, my son and I are both in TKD as well.  We are about to receive our second degree black belts.  Tell Britt to keep it up!!

Best to you!!


Teen Dating Issues

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Suzi Zimmerman


I am a teacher and I write books on teen dating, self-esteem, and values. I can answer questions on making healthy choices, self-improvement, liking yourself, relationships and friendships, goal-setting, values, and how to handle making difficult choices.


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