Teen Dating Issues/Former Best Friend and Now Friend With Benefits
How to deal with this situation?
I'm a teenage guy about to be a Junior in High School, and this is my situation with this girl. HELP!
We've been friends since about the 4th grade (she's a year older than I am so 5th grade for her). She was the first girl I can legitimately say that I loved, but we only saw each other when I came over (her mother and my aunt were roommates). So we spent half the summer between my 4-5 grade years hanging out because she spends the other half in California with her dad. We never even went to the same school district until I moved to the same town as her in 8th grade. I got my first phone and her number and we started talking a lot, until I moved once again. When I finally came back to stay, it was my freshman year. We became the best of friends quickly, mostly because she had a boyfriend already, and were almost inseparable, with her Mom even trusting me to the point where she let me spend the night at their house.
At my very first high school football game she invited me to hang out with a group of her friends, one of which took a fancying to me very quickly, as we also all 3 had a class together and had talked a bit prior to this. After a bit of blatant flirting in front of this friend (we'll call my best friend Kat from here on out), she got angry and told me to leave. Upset and confused, I asked her why, and she slapped me, telling me to go. I walked away, not only hurt from the pain of the blow, but my heart was heavy because I never expected her to do that, not to me.
A few months later almost the same thing happened again, she slapped me, but this time I blew up and walked out. We didn't talk for the rest of my freshman year and not even my sophomore year. This summer, leading into my junior year, she texted me again apologizing, saying she was wondering how I was doing as well. I missed having her in my life.
We agreed to take our relationship slow, the girl I talked about at the football game and I had started dating but took a break over the Summer due to my job (Office job, not fast food or anything, not that there's anything wrong with that.). So, Kat and I said we'd hang out at my Aunt's new place (My Aunt moved about 45 seconds away by car), and I walked to go get her. It was a bit strained at first but we found a rhythm after too long and it became easy.
Bit of a side note, I was fat (and I do mean FAT) until I decided to change in either grade and lost the weight, then bulked up a bit after-wards. The last me she had seen until she saw me this summer was skinny and undefined, unlike now where I'm pretty fit.
So she revealed to me via text after our first encounter that she had actually liked me when she had a boyfriend and had gotten jealous when the girl tried to talk to me, sending me away was how she was going to keep me for herself I'm assuming. Due to me being on break, she said our new relationship could become very interesting, and it became so very quickly. During our second encounter she kissed me and it was electric. I tried to pull back after a minute or so but she quickly pulled me back in. After this she expressed that we shouldn't do that because she liked it too much and didn't want to make things complicated by catching feelings again, but that failed. After wrestling (we did this often as kids, kind of a habit now) we ended up laying with each other while I had her pinned and we kissed again. We had a total of 5 encounters this summer before she went to Cali for the remainder.
She’s really emotionally confused and doesn't know how to express her feelings well. I think that her feelings for me are mostly physical but I’m worried about the feelings I had rekindling with her, yet I don’t want to stop. I truly do love this girl and always have, so Any advice would be much appreciated…
Very Confused D
You have to decide if you want to wait around for her or not. You cant force her to be in a relationship with you. Maybe just being friends is the best option right now. If I were you I would have a open and frank discussion with her. Tell her how you feel and what you want. See if she can give you what you want. If not then its time to just remain friends and move on