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Teen Dating Issues/He doesn't want to commit yet


I'm 18 yrs old and there's this guy I've been talking to and hanging out with for the past few weeks, although I've known him for a few years. We've recently gotten physical, as in holding hands, cuddling, and making out. We hold hands wherever we go and aren't afraid to show some PDA lol. So we're kind of like boyfriend and girlfriend. Well when we first started hanging out romantically a few weeks ago, he was on a "break" with his girlfriend of 10 months. A couple weeks later, his girlfriend officially broke up with him for good.
Ever since he's started hanging out with me, his ex has been crazy and super jealous. She's texting him angry messages all the time trying to control what he does, telling him not to be with me, that he's an asshole and that he's just trying to make her jealous, etc. Yesterday me and him went to a high school football game, and his ex was there. She started cussing us both out in front of me and whenever we'd run into one of her friends, they would cuss us out too and start screaming at him for hurting his ex. It was such a mess, and I kept being dragged into it because I was the "new girl." I hate drama, so I was really frustrated with all of it and I told him that and he felt really bad.
Later that night I pulled him aside and I was just like "So are we together?" And he's like "Well, not yet we're not." And I was like "Why not yet?" And just to kinda paraphrase what he said, he's like "I have all this drama to deal with with my ex and it's such a mess right now, if we become too official it's just gonna make this situation even messier. I love spending time with you and I like you a lot, but as far as becoming official, I just want to wait to do that until after all this is resolved. It's not fair to you that all this is happening and you're in the middle of it. I just need time to think about all that's going on before jumping into a relationship. But until then I really do want to keep seeing you." And then he's like "I really don't want to break your heart, so I'm gonna try my best not to do that. There's no reason that I would want to stop hanging out with you." He even told me he'd be jealous if I was hanging out with other guys.
So I'm just confused on the whole situation. Is his excuse for not wanting a relationship right away amidst all this drama with his ex a valid excuse? Or do you think he's just making up a stupid excuse because he just doesn't like me enough to be official with me? What do you think? I'm so confused, please help! Thank you for your time!!

Hi Gabby

I dont think its wrong for him to not want a serious relationship right now after getting out of one. I think you should respect that. I also think if he doesnt want to be in an official relationship with you then you should stop being physical with him. I also think you should consider dating other guys.

Good luck!


Teen Dating Issues

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I can answer most types of question dealing with teens and preteens. I can give advice on dating, love, sex, friendships, same sex relationships. I am experienced at most preteen & teen subjects and have given advice to many people before. Who better to give advice to teens as being one myself?


I'm a teen girl and have been in many relationships, both with guys and girls. I've been in many different situations and can give you great advice.

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