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Teen Dating Issues/Falling in... And out of love.

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Hi Sandi.

My greatest compliments to you for being willing to answer stupid questions from stupid people like me. :)
You should know that I'm from the Netherlands. And even though I get pretty High grades for english, there are still some things in grammar and vocabulair I haven't quite figured out yet, so I hope you'll understand.

Furthermore, you will probably think of me as a shallow person at the end of this letter, but... *Sigh* Ok, here goes.

My taste in boyfriend had always been weird. I was the girl who would chase after boys with the weirdest looks. The cute, nerdy, skinny guys with glasses and kurlys or the big, chubby ones who I could cuddle with or the short, pale gingerboys with those great smiles. You get my drift?

I absolutely did NOT like the jogs or the populair guys with the sixpacks (I do not find them attractive ._. AT ALL) and blond hair and blue eyes, oh heck no.

My latest *catch* is the sweetest guy I have ever met. He can't listen for shit and at times he is irritatingly stupid.
His looks aren't all that great either. What really attracted me was his hair. that emo-like blond hair you can play with and that hair before his eyes that gives him a mysterious, sexy look. underneath that Hair <3 were a pair of eyebrows. Oh my god. Did I say eyebrowS? Well, its only one. one BIG one. and a face full of zits and pimples he absolutley doesn't take care of.
He's tall and a bit chubby so I wouldn't have to be that ashamed of my body.
Let's just say he's not prince charming, not even mine, but he's really sweet to me and treats me like a princess most of the time.

But here's the big part. Or parts.
He made the biggest mistake a boyfriend could EVER make: He told me I'm horrible in bed. We haven't even have sex yet, but you know, there are certain "other" things we could do, and appearently I'm terrible at it. When I asked how I should do it then, HE FUCKING
GOT ALL PISSED OFF
AND TOLD ME
"I Should Know Because I Am A Woman." >.>

For a girl who's extremely afraid of failing- well- that sure was not good to hear.
Ever since then I've been afraid to go near him phisically. I don't take The Pill yet, just because I wasn't ready for it, but right before he told me how horrible I am in bed, I thought I wanted to do it with him. But now I don't.

I know I am supposed to talk to him about it, and work it out together and especially practice together, But...
It just incredibelly burned my pride and the least bit of self confidence I had. Also, I must admit that he isn't very good at it either. I mean, when was the last time you got fingered by One finger? And the Pinky one at that? o.O
His pride is larger and greater than the Mt Everest, and I wouldn't want him to feel the same way I do.
But seriously, when it comes to pleasuring me, I would much rather do it myself.

But still, he very much wants to have sex with me. He's pestering me with questions like: Are you on the pill yet? Wanna have sex now? I got condoms! Hey, hey, why don't you just get the morning after pill? Not very romantic, if you ask me. We're both virgins, FFS.

But there's another problem since 3 days.
HE RUINED HIS HAIR.
IT NOW LOOKS TOTALLY NOT SEXY
AND TOTALLY RETARDED.
AND TOTALLY FUCKED.

Do you know those haircuts what certain... north african boys are having there days? The sides cut off completely, but atop of him a few patches of hair, what makes you think of a Nazi? Well, that's his haircut now. But WORSE. And now his eyebrow, his pimples, his weird shaped head are staring at me in the camera while Skyping, And I now think he's totally unattractive. Kind of Ugly, even.
And WITH the fact that he's pestering me with questions like he EXPECTS sex from me anytime soon, WITH the fact that I don't dare to be with hem in bed because of what he said, I just... I don't know how I feel.
Betrayed, I guess. And stupid. And Angry at the both of us. But mostly frustrated.
I really, really, really REALLY don't want to have sex with him now. And with his looks like now, I don't even know if I want to be around him, looking like he does now.

Dear Ashley, this is the first time that I've been completely honest about my situation. I know you will think of me as a shallow, mean little bitch, but I live all the way in The Netherlands and you are my last hope.
I do not want to be irritated because of him, I think I love him, but it is hard to love him like he acts and looks now.

Help me out, Sandi, Please.

xxxx Merida.

Answer
Hi Merida,

Wow..umm..I think the only thing I can really say here is break up with him and take some time to better understand what your looking for in a relationship. Why would you want to stay with such a shallow rude person? Dont have sex with him just to get better at it. Not sure what else to say here. If you want to talk more please let me know

Sandi

Teen Dating Issues

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Sandi

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I can answer most types of question dealing with teens and preteens. I can give advice on dating, love, sex, friendships, same sex relationships. I am experienced at most preteen & teen subjects and have given advice to many people before. Who better to give advice to teens as being one myself?

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I'm a teen girl and have been in many relationships, both with guys and girls. I've been in many different situations and can give you great advice.

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