Teen Dating Issues/The slowest relationship ever
Dear Abhi !
I really needed a fresh take on this.
So I have a guy friend from my school and we started getting in touch around 3 years after graduating out of school. We are in different colleges now but more or less manage to keep in touch on the phone every now and then.
He is very reserved when it comes to girls and hardly speaks to any although he has an astounding number of guy friends. I had a little thing for him way back in school so it was a huge and pleasant surprise when he called me out of the blue someday after 3 years. Since then we've been better than a house on fire. There were innumerable nights when we stayed up on the phone all night and however much time we spoke for never seemed to be enough to fit all we wanted to say.I know many guys, but none of them give me a feeling that remotely compares to what he does. He is everything, chivalrous, funny, smart just to name a few things.
After what I can guess was a lot of hesitation, after 6 months on the phone he suggested we meet which we did. That was when I started falling for him. Whenever we're together what I feel is a thing of the movies, and which I never thought was ever really possible. Without doing anything at all this guy turned my entire outlook on love and relationships on its head.
Since we're studying in different places, it's not possible to meet as frequently as I would like. But I don't think even this can excuse the fact that we've only met thrice in two years seeing as how we're from the same place. Sometimes when I call he doesn't pick up. He's studying medicine so I can understand how he'd be busy, but then he always seems to have time to go out with his own friends. I don't want to seem clingy so I don't bring it up much.
On the few occasions I do, he seems genuinely confused and says he didn't see my call. He really seems to like me, and some of my friends from school are really surprised he speaks to me so much seeing as how he hardly speaks to other girls, and even then just when it's necessary. It feels really special that he wants to talk to only me, but I'm confused at his aloofness which happens much more often than I'd like. In all of our conversations of over two years now we have hardly touched the topic of us. He's quite frugal with his words when it comes to this or related topic but has indicated on numerous occasions how special I am to him. Those few times we did meet, everything was electric, atleast for me. And even he seemed to be really reluctant when I had to go. It hurts me on many levels that he doesn't take more of an interest in meeting me more often.
I sense that he only sees me as a friend, but I on the other hand think about him all the time. I haven't gone on a second date with a guy since I don't remember when. I think somewhere in the back of my mind I measure everyone up against him and they always seem to fall short.
I know doesn't see me like that or else he would have been much more available and keen.
I don't want to tell him because that will jeopardise our friendship which I am desperately hanging on to.
I'm starting to think it's true what they say about unfulfilled and unrequited love being the best and the worst.
Oh, and he isn't gay !
I can understand exactly how you feel. You really like him and must feel restless if you don't talk ever for a day. But you are not sure how he feels about you and are reluctant to talk about it since it might come in between your friendship. I wish I could offer you better advice except follow your heart, since there is no correct thing to do here. You have to decide if you can live with just being his friend or would you rather try to be with him even if there is a chance you might lose the friendship.
I think if he talks with you so much he must also like you and maybe he is just shy or he might be feeling exactly what you are feeling. Speaking as a guy, I would say a guy won't talk this much with you if he doesn't feel something. But you know him the best, so just try to think if sometime he has shown interest in going out with you.
You should decide will going out with him make it worth risking your friendship and more importantly if you can meet other guys if you decide not to talk with him. Remember that unless you take a risk you won't get what you want. So you should sit down and really think about what he means to you and what do you want to do about it.
I hope this helps. Contact me again if you need any other help.