Teen Dating Issues/Confused
"Hi, my name is Aria and Im 16 years old.It's not really a big issue that im bringging up but it kind of messes with my life so I decided to ask you for some advice.I have a crush on this guy from my school,he's the same class with me.It's been six months already since I like him.The problem is him.This is how it all started.Six months ago,he started chatting with me online,I mean FACEBOOK.I was surprised because he never talked to me before and neither did I notice him although we were in the same class for 3 years.We communicated often, through social website and texting.We got really close..I started to grow feelings for him.And we even hung out together,though there were other friends with us.They said we both looked like couples since we were really close and when I rested my head on his shoulder,he didn't mind at all.I thought he had the same feelings for me too.And then suddenly,about two weeks later, he stopped everything.The chatting,texting etc.It was so obvious he's avoiding me.He would'nt even look at me.That happened exactly after we hung out and I rested my head on his shoulder.Later, after one whole month avoiding me(April),he started talking to me again,but not as it was before,plus May was our Mid Term exams so I guess we both put all our focus on that.I was worried about my results,thought they would be affected because of him but I scored very well,top 3 for my badge.He was number 4.I believed the main reason I did well is because of him.He's a smart guy who gets number 1 and I thought maybe if I do better than him, he will notice me.July on my birthday and we hung out again,although still it was never the same as the first time we went out.We started taking to each other but never got to the way we were or supposed to be.Then now in September,it's all back to the way it was, we got really close again.I started to feel that he liked me too, but I guess Im wrong again.The thing here is,this guy is probably confused about what he feels for me.He's maybe not ready for a relationship and it's not because of any ex(he never had).A few weeks ago,he's friend said we look like a couple and he just smiled at me.Then he said 'this age is to study'.That moment I got it.I agree with him.I myself am not ready for any relationship.I wanna focus on my studies and being someone someday but I can see him in my future.Im a girl and I trust my instincts.He either loves me or he did,not that he NEVER loved me.Now he's just confused about his feelings but I don't like him leading me on then leaving me hanging, ignoring me, pretending like Im a pole,invisible.I guess I just like him too much that makes me just to go along with his games.I don't wanna ask or say anything scared of rejection and losing him as a friend but Im almost sure that he knows I like him and he knew that for quite some time,however that didn't make him stop talking to me.Sometimes Im A FRIEND,MORE THAN A FRIEND,OR INVISIBLE to him.My friends notice the way he smiles and treats me ,they say he likes me,he does.I believe them and i trust my instincts but Im just not sure.Next months starts my Final Exam and Im here with this thing bugging me day and night.Why does things have to get so complicated.What should I do ? Play along ? Ask him ? Talk about it with him?? Im not sure,hope you can help me.Thanks alot for your time."
I'm glad to see you dealing with the problem in a mature way. I think you are right that he is confused about his feelings for you and maybe he is not ready for a relationship. You should think about if you are ready to wait for him to decide if he wants to be with you or not. You should think if you want to wait since he might not want a relationship till he finishes school. You should only do it if you really want to be with him since it will be hard to wait that long. Also, you might feel a bit ignored if he stops talking to you again. On the other hand, you might find it difficult to stop thinking about him and it might affect your studies.
The best advice I can give you is think carefully about what you want and if you are ready to deal with the problems that go along then make a decision.
I hope this helps. Contact me again if you have any other questions.